its just dificult for me to see how a third link could fit in there. on ones side i have the driveshaft in the way, and the other side i have the exhaust in the way...?
Exhaust can be rerouted

Running true 3-link usually does involve a bit more work, and you normally need to cut through the floor on the passenger side for the frame-end link mount to fit high enough. It's not a big cut and can be covered with sheetmetal. Even though your XJ is your DD, the upper link notch on the floor can be cut & covered so it looks good and doesn't really eat away passenger legroom.
Radius arms are definitely easier to fab and can be made to work ok with good shocks, but it'll always have the known issues no matter what - brake dive and front unloading on steep climbs. A lot of off-road vehicles are built this way (all coil- sprung live axle Toyotas, Land Rover Defender/ Discovery, Range Rover, G- class Merc, etc...), and it works. But it binds more than 3- link, and is not the ideal way to build a front suspension. Jeep came pretty damn close on building the perfect front suspension (4-link + panhard bar), but they cheaped out on running too short arms built from thin sheetmetal

Check for 3-link on Pirate4x4 Cherokee section, and then diceide which way you wanna go... 3-link design ain't that hard, but expect spending a couple of days studying/ researching on 3-link/ 4-link theory and getting the link setup right. If you're not ready for that, fab radius arms
as for frame stiffeners, i want to make my own, should i get tubing, or plate it? i've seen some kits which are made out of tubing. or should i just plate it with 1/8", 3/16", 1/4"? This is my daily driver, want to keep the weight a bit lower for some precious MPG.
Frame stiffeners aren't actually that expensive, and IMO the amount of work you do fabbing your own (cutting, bending, drilling a lot of rosette- weld holes, making everything fit) it's probably worth it to buy a set from a known good manufacturer. 1/8" works if done right (= enough rosette welds, stich- welding the upper seam, wrapping the stiffeners all around the uniframe rails), 3/16" is bulletproof, 1/4" is overkill if you ask me.