ok so I'm trying here... hopefully y'all can re into my stupidity. i was having trouble understanding the wiring as it seems mine was different or something I'm retarded basically. so i took numbers from every pin on harness side of 02 connector.
bank1/sensor 1
brown/w lightgreen .798 v and 0 ohm ............................................... heater control should be 12V
blk/ w light green 1.7 v and 16.7 ohm (only one to beep on contiunity)... (brown?/light green) heater ground, 0 ohms.
blue /w light blue 4.17 v and 11.9 ohm............................................... sensor signal
brown /w blueish green ? 2.4 v and 11.4 ohm ..................................... upstream sensor return
bank2 sensor1
blk / w green 1.7 v and 16.2 ohms ( only one to beep on continuity)...... heater ground, 0 ohms.
brown w/ violet .958 v and 32 ohm ................................................. heater control 12V
blue w/ light green 4.25 v and 11.9 ohm ........................................... sensor signal
br w/ green 2.4 v and 11.9 ohm ...................................................... sensor return
bank1 sensor 2
blk w/ blue 1.7 v and 11.7 ohm (only to be on continuity)...... heater ground, 0 ohms
brown w/ white .96 v and 31 ohms .................................... heater control 12V
blue w/ light green 4.1 v and 10.7 ohms ............................. (dark blue/yellow?) sensor signal
blue wire 2.4 v and 13 ohm .............................................. (dark blue/dark green) sensor return
bank 2 sensor 2
brown wire 4.2 v and 10.95 ohm .................................. sensor signal
br w/ white 1.6 v and 0 ohm ....................................... (brown/grey?) heater control 12V
blk w/ blue 3v and 29 ohm (only to beep on continuity).... heater ground 0 ohms
blue wire 2.4 v and 11.7 ohm ...................................... sensor return wire.
a lot i know but seemed again like i can't see colors right or mines different idk. but maybe it'll make sense to y'all .
Colours can fade and change hue over the years so where I think you are seeing them wrong I've added what I think the wires should be.
The wires you need to be concentrating on are the heater control and ground wires. You can ignore the sensor signal and return wires as they are unrelated to the issue at hand.
I'm not sure when the heater control wires will have 12V on them since they are controlled by the PCM and won't be on all the time. I'd expect them to initially come on in a similar way to the ASD relay so on for the first two seconds and during engine cranking. After that I presume they can be switched on and off as the PCM sees fit. I'd get someone to cycle the ignition on and off while looking for 12V on those wires.
Since you said the heaters ohm out at 3.6 ohms and your ground resistances are higher than this the ground connection could well be your problem, as the resistance on those wires will massively reduce power to the heaters making them ineffective. If you've not done it already, remove the ground wires from the engine block and clean them all up, then refasten them securely. Once done recheck the resistance of the ground wires.