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Political Fun Zone Take II..

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· Premium Member
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What is that too controversial for here ?

Or is too much to ask for an adult conversation?

I lost all respect for some of the mods on this section when a few months back when a thread of mine was deleted because a mod thought it was Racist.?!?!?

Maybe it was too hard to have a adult conversation about race?

Remember what the letters P.R.C. stand for.
Posting pictures is not conversion.

It was racist, even if you did believe it.

Your right to free speech stops at blatantly offending others simply for the sake of trolling.

This is Jeepforum. If you'd prefer Reddit feel free to move along.

You won't be allowed to crap on other people's threads. Trolling will not be tolerated here. I'll remove your access if it continues.

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
A United States Marine was taking some college courses between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform... I'll give you exactly 15 min."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to noticeably shaken then looked at the Marine and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Marine calmly replied, "GOD was busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid **** and act like an idiot, so he sent me." The classroom erupted in cheers!

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
More is less

WELCOME to 2018

�Our Phones - Wireless
�Cooking - Fireless
�Cars - Keyless
�Food - Fatless
�Tires -Tubeless
�Dress - Sleeveless
�Youth - Jobless
�Leaders - Shameless
�Relationships - Meaningless
�Attitudes - Careless
�Babies - Fatherless
�Feelings - Heartless
�Education - Valueless
�Children - Mannerless

Government-is CLUELESS,
And our Politicians-are WORTHLESS!

I'm scared - ****less!

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
I stopped by the Ford Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new 2019 F-150 aluminum pickup.

Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive.

I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before they become old.

The salesperson (a nice looking lady wearing a “RESIST” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options.

The seats were of particular interest.

She explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

Feeling like messing with her, I mentioned that this must be a CONSERVATIVE truck.

Looking a bit angry, she asked why I thought it was a CONSERVATIVE truck.

"I explained that if it were a LIBERAL truck, the seats would just blow smoke up your *** year-round!"

I had to walk back to the dealership but it was worth it

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
Imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse

* 7 have been arrested for fraud

* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks

* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

* 3 have done time for assault

* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?
Yep it's our 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.
Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people paddling and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people paddling.
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.
They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat while not enough people were paddling.

Not sure of how to utilize that information but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the paddling team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people paddling the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the paddlers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off one paddler, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated paddler was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles), so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India.

Sadly, the End.

Here's something else to think about:

GM has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the U.S., claiming they can't make money paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US.

The last quarter's results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while GM racks up 9 billion in losses.
GM folks are still scratching their heads and collecting bonuses....

Maybe this is why President Trump is rightfully upset with GM, and after a hundred million dollar bail out to boot!

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
The year is 2059

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest Country in the world, Mexifornia formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help.

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

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14,697 Posts
The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)

Democratic Senators are considering introducing legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Kamala Harris. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the Toyota plant in Georgetown, KY due to her inability to remember "righty tighty, lefty loosey". "This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin, II: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

This message was approved by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Diane Feinstein, Kamala Harris, Maxine Waters, Cory Booker, Bernie Sanders, Chuck Schumer, Jeff Flake, Chris Van Holland, Elizabeth Warren & Nancy Pelosi........ all Americans With No Abilities whatsoever.

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
The Coyote principal


• The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

• The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

• He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

• He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

• The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

• The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

• The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

• The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

• The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.

• PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.


• The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

• The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

• The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
100 years ago a twenty dollar bill and a twenty dollar gold piece were interchangeable. Either one would buy a new suit, new shoes and a night on the town.
The twenty dollar gold piece will still do that today.

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
Suddenly a cow runs onto the road and a limo driving late at night hits it head on as the car comes to a stop. The woman in the back seat, in her usual abrasive manner, says to the Chauffeur, "You get out and check on that poor cow. You were driving."

So the chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead but it appeared to be very old. "Well", says the woman, "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there."

Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full belly, his hair ruffled, and a big grin on his face. "My God, what happened to you?" asks the nasty woman.

The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and their daughter made love to me."

"What on earth did you say?" asks the woman. Well, I just knocked on the door, and when it opened, I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow."

· Premium Member
14,697 Posts
I cleaned this thread up and reopened it for political humor and related discussions.
If you merely want to post memes copied from the internet bashing specific politicians, please use the Hate on Politicians thread.
Don't make me work to keep this civil.
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