Here is my problem. I have two sets of lights that are not working. I have them both hooked thru two separate 4 pin relays to two separate 3 pin switches. The fused power wire from the battery goes to the 30 pin on the relay, the ground goes to 85, the light wire to the 87 and the switch wire to the 86. For some reason I am not getting any power thru the 86 (switch) wire. If I go straight from the battery positive to the switch (bypassing the switch wire) the lights work. I have tested the relay and fuses and they work. One set of lights didn't work last time I went out so I took it apart now both don't work. I am tearing my hair out because this is how I had it hooked up before and they worked.
Here is a slideshow of my Jeep:
Pin 30 goes to the battery, pin 87is to the lights,pin 85 is to ground and pin 86 is to a positive switch source .
Pin 30 need the right sized fuse for the lights your powering and the switch needs a fuse where ever you get the power from.
It does sound like the switch portion is hooked up incorrect. You need 12v to the switch. Then the other terminal of the switch will get wired to terminal 86 of the relay.
Check that you have 12v at the switch with the key in the appropriate position. Then check the other terminal on the switch. It should have 0v in off position and 12v in the on position.
If that checks out than check to make sure you are getting 12v at terminal 86 on the relay with the switch and key on.
A simple test light or multi meter and a simple diagram that you can look up online will help you a lot. Just trace the 12v from the source and follow all the way to the lights. Try looking up automotive relay wiring diagram and you will get a bunch of good info.
It is good practice and common for the power to the switch to be fused. This can be directly from the battery, the fuse block, or even a tap into another circuit (i.e. lighter socket). The current required for a switch to energize a relay is very small, so it could be using the same power as the lights to be driven or from a totally separate source.
Like many of us have said, trace back from the switch.