Sooo, back in my "yute", a Wedding meant a 3day bender. My buddy and I decided to duct tape the batchelor party, (totally diferent story w/Russian "Ladies") blow-up doll.... on the hood of my Jeep. Then cut in front, and lead the wedding party through our little Hamlet. I figured leading the Limo, and all the borrowed Caddys, Benzs' and whatnot w/ this nekkid obscenity out front ought to class thigs up a bit. So here we are, on the side of the road, 1/2 mile away from the church trying to fasten it on, and it was very windy. Next thing you know there are about 6 cop cars from all 6 little towns, screeching up, guns drawn, screaming for us to hit the dirt in our Tuxedos. Neither of us were drinking yet, but very hung over!
Apperantly, the little old ladies' house we stopped in front of, called 911, to say that 2 guys were raping a woman on the hood of a car! At 1 pm on a sunny spring day. When the cops realized what we were doing they almost pee'd themselves laughing. Except this 1 humorless cop who had a slew of charges for us, ready to go. Obscene this, indecency that. He actually wanted to have it tested to see if it was used. He actually back-handed me when I asked him to give it a whiff, if he wanted. So the other cops calm him down. As the cops decided to let us go, and un-cuff us, the Wedding party drives by at the slowest possible speed, faces in windows all agape. While the doll is still on the hood. I can't be sure, but I'm almost positive I didn't get a dance that afternoon and night!
I've also learned that sometimes... when people don't agree with you .... its best to hold them down and kidney punch them till they agree with you