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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:20 PM   #1
JeepHammer
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The DUMBEST Thing A Cop Has Said To You While Driving Your CJ...

A few years back,
Some friends and I went to get 'Sunday' beer, got about 15 cases, threw them in an old Mail Jeep (DJ) and the guy in the back made a 'Throne' out of them and plopped down...

We start up the hill by the state police post, I pop the passenger door to throw a cigarette out, and the door slides off the track and falls in the road.

We do an illegal 'U' turn at the top of the hill, right in front of the state cop shop,
Go to the bottom of the hill, do another 'U' turn and pick up the door, throw it on the top of the Jeep (luggage rack) and proceed on past the state cop shop,

We don't get a block before a city cop stops us... For going TOO SLOW...
And before he gets our plates called in and the response back, there are two state troopers stopped to back him up.

I've got no door on the left side, so he walks up and asks me for license & registration.

I ask, "Why do you need my license, I wasn't driving."
He says for me to shut up, and produce license and registration again,
Again I say, "I WASN'T DRIVING". Much slower so he could understand, and to be a smart a$$...

He gets all flustered, starts hollering that if I don't have a license, I'm going to jail for driving without it.

I say again, "I WASN'T DRIVING" while I point to the RIGHT HAND DRIVE steering wheel...

He shines his flashlight over at the steering wheel, take a moment, then shines the light in my face AGAIN...
And tells me to
"Stop F**king around and put the steering wheel back over here where it belongs!"

The state troopers like to fall down laughing,
The guy in the back can't sit up anymore convulsing with laugher...

He gave us a VERBAL warning for going too slow in a 30 MPH zone and told us to get out of there.

-------------------------------

Yesterday (Monday) I stopped at Radio Shack to pick up solder, but they didn't open until 10 AM,
So I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some paint...

When I come out, there is a woman hollering at a VERY young cop, hands just flying, REALLY ANIMATED.
The cop is parked behind my little Jeep CJ-5, which is REALLY UGLY...

So I walk up and stand there to see what was going on and to wait until the cop moved his car.
After a couple of minutes, the cop asked me to move along.

I say, "Thats my Jeep, I'm here until you let me out."

The woman BLOWS UP, starts screaming at ME!
I have no idea what she is trying to say, but she's REALLY MAD!

The cop takes me aside and says,
"She called in to the station, says you gave her car a BIG door ding and drove off."


I look at the Jeep, look at the cop, look back at the Jeep, look at the woman trying to digest this statement....

Then I look the cop square in the eye and say,
"I hate to point out the obvious DETECTIVE,
But my Jeep doesn't have doors, or a top, or anything at the height that would leave a vertical 'Ding' in her car.
A DOOR DING would be VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME!"


He asks, "Where are you coming from?",
I say "Wal-Mart." and point at the store, hold up the 'Wal-Mart' bag I'm holding...

He says, "Would you have done that Accidentally?
I say, "With What DOOR?"

I say, "I parked down here where NO ONE was because the Jeep has manual steering and it doesn't turn well in tight places at slow speeds."

He says, "So your power steering is broke?"
"No" I say, "It's MANUAL STEERING, before the days of power steering."

Anyway, he finally determined I wasn't the 'Jeep' she had been chasing for 30 miles from the next city over,
Finally determined I don't have doors to leave 'Door Dings',
He also determined I didn't have steering and wanted to call a tow truck!

Turns out she hadn't actually SEEN the vehicle that 'Dinged' her, she just 'Assumed' it was the 'Vehicle With Big Tires' that was parked next to her when she went into the store 30 miles away...
ACTUALLY TOLD THE COPS she ran over 100 miles an hour trying to catch the guy she believed dinged her car!
And they did NOTHING!

Back to the tow truck/cop...
I say, "NO! It's got steering, it's just MANUAL steering and doesn't turn real tight in close spaces with the big tires."

Then he wants to know if the tires or the 'Broken' steering is the 'Problem'...
So when HIS backup arrived (Someone old enough to shave every day) they let me go... but the tow truck had already arrived and now that guy was pissed at me too!

Some days you just can't help pissing off the stupid people!

I'm beginning to wonder about the standardized testing they use to select cop candidates...

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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:27 PM   #2
Mickey_D
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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:36 PM   #3
VACJ7
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That is just great! Thanks for the laugh Hammer.
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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:38 PM   #4
iDriveYJ
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I lol'd and read it to my family they laughed their asses off too.
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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:42 PM   #5
mylittlecj5
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Ah I used to have fun in my old DJ, backing into the drive-up window at our local bank....The looks I got were priceless! Every Jeeper should have a DJ at one time in their lives!

ON topic, I've never been pulled over in all the Jeeps I've owned. Dunno why, half of them weren't even street worthy, much less legal!
My wife got pulled over in an old Camaro I had on Hoover Dam before they built the bypass...Tried to tell her that since the rear hatch was blocked (it was full of luggage for 3 people on a 1000 mile trip, and me and the dog in the back), that we were in violation since the interior rear view mirror was blocked.
I quickly pointed out that we had 2 perfectly good door mirrors that worked, and there WAS NO interior mirror, so how was it a violation?
Then he tried to say we were leaking fuel out the exhaust...UUHH hello? Las Vegas summertime? water condensation? Ever heard of it? lol We were on a steep hill on the west side of the dam at the time so water was running out of the exhaust when we pulled over.
The real funny thing was, he NEVER asked my wife (who was driving) for her license and registration. he DID ask the passenger for his tho. WTF? he wasn't driving?
Ended up letting us go with no explanation...
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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:47 PM   #6
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[QUOTE=sonoran_Tj
"If we collect data long enough, we may discover the root psychological cause for the "jeep thing".

So far it seems correlated to OCD and the need to look at one's poop."
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Unread 07-12-2011, 09:56 PM   #7
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[QUOTE=sonoran_Tj
"If we collect data long enough, we may discover the root psychological cause for the "jeep thing".

So far it seems correlated to OCD and the need to look at one's poop."
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Unread 07-12-2011, 10:24 PM   #8
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[QUOTE=mylittlecj5;11848372] ON topic, I've never been pulled over in all the Jeeps I've owned. Dunno why, half of them weren't even street worthy, much less legal!


I had a cop tell me once he doesn't write tickets to Jeep drivers but confessed he occasionally pulls one over just to check it out. I did get two tickets for not having bumpers a couple days apart, I asked the cop if he had ever seen bumperettes that Jeep called bumpers and he didn't know what I was talking about. Then I told him my tires were my bumpers. He didn't like that one too much. This thread is really funny.
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Unread 07-12-2011, 10:25 PM   #9
adamsclarke
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To the original poster...I am a Cop..your scenarios are funny...but we have a job to do, no matter how little you like us. Easy on the flame and my advice to everyone is loose the attitude when it comes to dealing with any LEOs. We are all different and deal with every situation differently.

FYI, the reason the cop likely didn't ticket the lady for saying she went 100 to catch up......misdemeanor that didn't happen in his presence....can't write a tix for that here in VA, you have to go get a warrant.

...continue
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Unread 07-12-2011, 10:49 PM   #10
John N
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adamsclarke View Post
To the original poster...I am a Cop..your scenarios are funny...but we have a job to do, no matter how little you like us. Easy on the flame and my advice to everyone is loose the attitude when it comes to dealing with any LEOs. We are all different and deal with every situation differently.

...continue
I don't know if I should....I'm in your area .....But I will....
I got pulled a few years ago right across from the local Jeep dealership, the officer asks if I know how high my bumpers are, to which I respond with the height. He asks if I'm aware of the bumper height restrictions in Virginia, 24" for an SUV....after he measures mine at 25". This is where it was fun...I drive a Scrambler....it's a pick-up truck in Virginia. I informed the officer of this and let him know he might be right if I drove a Wrangler or a CJ-7, he went to his car, got on his cell phone, computer and radio and couldn't find anything to refute what I'd told him. He told me he wasn't going to write me a ticket because he just wasn't sure, but I should get proof that I was right. I did call the Va. State Police inspection division, spoke with an officer in charge who actually knew what a Scrambler was and confirmed I was right. I keep his name and phone number in my glove box....pick-ups are allowed 28"; I've got 3 more inches to go...
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Unread 07-12-2011, 11:16 PM   #11
foggybottombob
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My story does not concern a particularly dumb statement by a cop but it is odd enough that I think it will fit here.

I was at a red light in my CJ7 back when it was a rust bucket. It was December but a sunny day and I had the window down. I hear "Sir, Sir" from someone in the car next to me. It turns out to be a cop car. And Santa is in the front passenger seat. Santa tells me "Sir, did you know that your tag is expired." I replied to Santa that I did not but would take care of it immediately. As far as I can tell. Santa has not held this incident against me.
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Unread 07-12-2011, 11:25 PM   #12
ONDEDGE
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Subscribed....this should be interesting.
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Unread 07-12-2011, 11:44 PM   #13
SBpunk
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HA! Love it! Military Police here for a few years and I still do dumb things I get back in my car and smack my head on the steering wheel for. SUBSCRIBED!
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Unread 07-12-2011, 11:52 PM   #14
Mickey_D
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adamsclarke View Post
To the original poster...I am a Cop..your scenarios are funny...but we have a job to do, no matter how little you like us. Easy on the flame and my advice to everyone is loose the attitude when it comes to dealing with any LEOs. We are all different and deal with every situation differently.

FYI, the reason the cop likely didn't ticket the lady for saying she went 100 to catch up......misdemeanor that didn't happen in his presence....can't write a tix for that here in VA, you have to go get a warrant.

...continue
Heh, did you read the original post completely? Trust me, I have full respect for law enforcement. My dad was a cop. I did 2 years as a Master At Arms in the Navy.

But the two instances JeepHammer recited should have earned those two LEO's a stenciled "L" on their foreheads for the day!!
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Unread 07-13-2011, 12:17 AM   #15
cherrybomb05
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Not in a CJ,but I was pulled over for a burnt out headlight, and then the told me to get out, and had me walk in a straight line. He said i was moving funny and put me in the back seat. it was 5am I was going to work(note: I was in my scrubs) and he says, "sir, where are you going?" I said, officer, I'm going to work. So then he looks at my address. I have a mustache and I don't exactly look like I live in a decent neighborhood. He says, "do you really live here(at the address on the DL)?" I wanted to say, no, I don't, I just put that as a joke. I said yes that is my real address. He called in another officer and threw me in that car for another 5 minutes. Screwed up my whole day. They let me off with a warning to fix my headlight. Called in a complaint the next day and they claimed they didnt do it. Jack asses.

I don't really like my towns cops much any more.. this was the truck I was driving. I guess since I drive a black truck and have a mustache means I'm a bad guy.

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