More confused. The "old" intakes are cast iron and don't have a heated water jacket (i.e. the coolant ports). The "new" intakes are like those I posted on eBay, with a heated water jacket, made of aluminum.
The "old" exhaust manifolds are like the one you linked in your first post - they mate up perfectly with the "old" intakes through a port about 3"x3" square. The "new" exhaust manifolds are like the first link I posted, with a simple 1/2" port that you have to link to the "new" intakes with a curved pipe, available through your Jeep dealership.
If you have a picture of your intake, I can verify that it's the "new" style, but from the sounds of it - that's what you have and you'll need an exhaust manifold like this one: '81-86 4.2 exhaust manifold
, as well as the curved pipe to fit it to the intake.
Is there a chance you have an aftermarket intake manifold - a Clifford or something? If that's the case, neither exhaust will mount with it very easily, and more likely than not you'll need an exhaust manifold from that particular manufacturer.