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Unread 08-08-2011, 08:55 AM   #1
Cherokeekid88
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Is YOUR spouse immature?

Heres the deal. My girlfriend who I have been with for over 5 years is my best friend and I love her more than anything....but she needs to grow up. We both work full time but still live at home....(saving up to buy a house) and I think I have grown up alot since working full time, but I feel like she hasn't. When it comes to certain things, she acts like she has no idea what is going on and looks to me with the dumbfounded look on her face, expecting me to fix everything...Example: Friday night we went out looking for a computer since it was tax free...I asked her before we talked with anyone if she knew what she was going to say and if she wanted my help...she said no...so I stayed out of it. She starts talking to the lady about what she wants out of a computer and it was a trainwreck from there. She wasn't making any sense at all..so I jumped in and just told the lady what she wanted....everything was fine...we got the computer and I mentioned something to her and she just goes off about how mean I am and how I never have anything nice to say...but she CANNOT take criticism at all....I told her Friday night that she needed to grow up and stop acting like she is 8...she cried and called me a jerk...blah blah blah..anyways....any of ya'll deal with that with your spouse? just the fact that they need to grow up and realize that aren't a kid anymore.

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Unread 08-08-2011, 09:09 AM   #2
Ayres56
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My wife was very immature when we first married. I think it was more that she had been spoiled and had "princess" issues. It didn't help that we hadn't lived together at all and I deployed and was injured and MEDEVAC's back to the states, so our first time living together also included me dealing with major injuries, surgeries and PTSD. But, over the last 2 years she has grown up substantially. She has started to communicate better, realize that everything wasn't going to be the way she wanted and it helped that her parents weren't up her rear daily. Good luck, though, some people will never grow up.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 10:56 AM   #3
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Nope, my spouse is more mature than me. Maybe too mature. I wish she would lighten up actually.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 11:09 AM   #4
Ski01xj
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
Heres the deal. My girlfriend who I have been with for over 5 years is my best friend and I love her more than anything....but she needs to grow up. We both work full time but still live at home....(saving up to buy a house) and I think I have grown up alot since working full time, but I feel like she hasn't. When it comes to certain things, she acts like she has no idea what is going on and looks to me with the dumbfounded look on her face, expecting me to fix everything...Example: Friday night we went out looking for a computer since it was tax free...I asked her before we talked with anyone if she knew what she was going to say and if she wanted my help...she said no...so I stayed out of it. She starts talking to the lady about what she wants out of a computer and it was a trainwreck from there. She wasn't making any sense at all..so I jumped in and just told the lady what she wanted....everything was fine...we got the computer and I mentioned something to her and she just goes off about how mean I am and how I never have anything nice to say...but she CANNOT take criticism at all....I told her Friday night that she needed to grow up and stop acting like she is 8...she cried and called me a jerk...blah blah blah..anyways....any of ya'll deal with that with your spouse? just the fact that they need to grow up and realize that aren't a kid anymore.
Sounds like it's just something she's not interested in. Personally I would have done the research together at home and just gone in and found something. Explain why you want A vs B and so on. That way she'll know in the future too.

To answer your question though, no. Sometimes she needs to really ligthen up.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 11:24 AM   #5
attentionwhore
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Mine is sometimes, but she is 10 years younger than I am.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 11:33 AM   #6
Ross
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
Heres the deal. My girlfriend who I have been with for over 5 years is my best friend and I love her more than anything....but she needs to grow up. We both work full time but still live at home....(saving up to buy a house) and I think I have grown up alot since working full time, but I feel like she hasn't. When it comes to certain things, she acts like she has no idea what is going on and looks to me with the dumbfounded look on her face, expecting me to fix everything...Example: Friday night we went out looking for a computer since it was tax free...I asked her before we talked with anyone if she knew what she was going to say and if she wanted my help...she said no...so I stayed out of it. She starts talking to the lady about what she wants out of a computer and it was a trainwreck from there. She wasn't making any sense at all..so I jumped in and just told the lady what she wanted....everything was fine...we got the computer and I mentioned something to her and she just goes off about how mean I am and how I never have anything nice to say...but she CANNOT take criticism at all....I told her Friday night that she needed to grow up and stop acting like she is 8...she cried and called me a jerk...blah blah blah..anyways....any of ya'll deal with that with your spouse? just the fact that they need to grow up and realize that aren't a kid anymore.
You have to know when to shut up and when to speak up. IF you were going to be involved you should have discussed thing BEFORE you went shopping. When you did discuss it was agreed you would keep out of it, but you didn’t. You get the dumb *** award for that.

I don't think it is she can't take criticism, I think it is because she felt embarrassed or belittled by you stepping in.

You don't deal with your spouse, you work with her.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 11:49 AM   #7
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Mine is more mature then I am but I know lots of guys who's wives act like teenagers still. Very awkward to be around.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 12:00 PM   #8
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I am going to agree with Ross, you should've let her keep talking to the "lady" until she ASKS for your help.

She specifically requested that you not help, you should've followed her wishes.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 12:19 PM   #9
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Nope.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 12:35 PM   #10
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Only if you asked my wife.......
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Unread 08-08-2011, 04:25 PM   #11
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Yes thats why i dumped her
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Unread 08-08-2011, 04:31 PM   #12
Balvar24
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I think some people confuse "immature" with "crazy."
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Unread 08-08-2011, 04:40 PM   #13
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I feel sorry for my future brother-in-law. My sister is VERY immature
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Unread 08-08-2011, 04:44 PM   #14
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I've never been attracted to immature girls, I don't care about age but I want them to act like they are 5-10 years older than they appear(that's not saying much for some age groups..)

My last girlfriend who seemed to be the most mature girl I've ever met turned out to be the most dishonest I've ever met. Lost a best friend because of that.

OP, find something that is mature enough for you, some people don't want to grow up.
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Unread 08-08-2011, 04:57 PM   #15
JeeperSC
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You should have let her shop for the computer alone and went browsing somewhere until she was done! That way if the computer was not what she wanted she couldnt throw it back on you. And she couldnt have argued with you about putting your two sense in.
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