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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:12 AM   #1
beavs
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Are You Suffering From Feelings?

What Are Feelings?

Feelings are a tender emotional state that develop when a male becomes fixated on a single female to the exclusion of others. Even others with bigger boobs.

Early Warning Signs

When you’re around one particular chick, you experience:

•Pounding Heart
•Dry Mouth
•Nausea
•Inability to speak
•Sweating
•Desire to say flattering things

If undiagnosed, these warning signs can quickly develop into the full blown disease…

Symptoms

•Warm fluttery feelings in stomach
•Lightheadedness
•An unexplained urge to watch Love Actually
•Sudden increase in cuddling occurrences
•Brunch cravings
•Explosive monogamy
•Happiness
•Failure to notice other hot women
•Crosswording

Transmission

Though correlation remains scientifically inconclusive, studies indicate “hand holding” may play a role in spreading Feelings from one person to another.

Treatment

At this time the only treatment for Feelings is a multi-week course in Other Women. If symptoms persist, repeat course at a higher dosage. NOTE: This treatment can result in harmful side-effects such as rash, infection, and in some cases, pregnancy.

paid for by the Barney Stinson Foundation

“Together we can end Feelings”

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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:18 AM   #2
liquidxit2
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Ive been having these symptoms for 8+ years. One symptom showed up 3 years ago called marriage, I believe it is too late for me.
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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:21 AM   #3
dirtball28
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I've been on feelings for years and never had a problem. I have them every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I even got married in July and still no problems. I know some people can't handle them but I'm different. I can quit having them whenever I want...really.
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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:27 AM   #4
racenkiwi
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ya well as of now i dont have a real excuse to have "feelings". but i am going to try to catch the bug tonight. well see how it goes though. first one in over a year.
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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:31 AM   #5
beavs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtball28 View Post
I've been on feelings for years and never had a problem. I have them every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I even got married in July and still no problems. I know some people can't handle them but I'm different. I can quit having them whenever I want...really.
You're missing something fundamental. Observe




Get well soon.
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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:46 AM   #6
SmithersGS
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I just drink until I can't feel feelings anymore.
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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:50 AM   #7
ancestralworm
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a man can no more think an emotion than a woman can feel a thought.
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Unread 10-03-2008, 10:52 AM   #8
dirtball28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beavs View Post
You're missing something fundamental. Observe




Get well soon.
I don't belive the statistics. Maybe it is that way for some people but it won't happen to me.

It is just goverment propoganda, another way for "the man" to oppress those of us who just want to have some fun with a little feelings every now and then.
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:08 PM   #9
SnowdogMarc
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I had feelings. Turned into Marriage. After just under 2 years I've had a shot of Separation which will result in the cure being Divorce. Feelings suck.
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:11 PM   #10
Topgun514
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i just got a girlfreind...shes really cute and i cant stop thinking about her, totally a "me" girl, outdoorsy, athletic, tiny, funny.

Kinda upset because i can feel all those symptoms
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:14 PM   #11
Matt Gertsch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Topgun514 View Post
i just got a girlfreind...shes really cute and i cant stop thinking about her, totally a "me" girl, outdoorsy, athletic, tiny, funny.

Kinda upset because i can feel all those symptoms
Try peeing on her in the shower.
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:32 PM   #12
BOWMAN1911
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I'm married & suffer from selective hearing. What was it you were warning everyone about?
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:36 PM   #13
dirtball28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Gertsch View Post
Try peeing on her in the shower.
I just peed on my wife in the shower and I still have feelings. I felt bad for laughing at her when she got mad. Do you become immune to this urine antidote once married?
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:46 PM   #14
turtlerace
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Feelings are bad. I had the feelings and did not use the antidote. Results are bad. Feelings are now replaced by hatred. Hatred is bad. She is a **** *******, thieving, lying, ***** of a ****. Those words are bad.
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Unread 10-17-2008, 09:53 PM   #15
Matt Gertsch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtball28 View Post
I just peed on my wife in the shower and I still have feelings. I felt bad for laughing at her when she got mad. Do you become immune to this urine antidote once married?
Once married, it becomes hilarious every time you do it.
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