Date: 2011-08-18, 3:39PM PDT
Konichiwa *****es. Are you looking for the most kick-*** ***ing roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You ***ing found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-*** companies in New York ***ing City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky ****-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post **** like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no ***ing clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a **** if I have to sleep in your bathtub.
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your ****. If you leave **** out, I'm just like, "Oh *** I better not mess with this ****, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. *** it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that **** in bearnaise. EVERY. *******. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's ***ing FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your ***ing socks off......
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