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Unread 04-14-2011, 05:09 PM   #31
bravobravo
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yell at you when you take a shower and use towels that were hanging in the bathroom

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^ it made more sense in my head

removed for stirring the pot
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Unread 04-14-2011, 05:17 PM   #32
BriansCJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HOLTZ View Post
Putting toilet paper in the toilet before taking a deuce so no one can hear the ba-dunk..... ba-dunk ba-dunk as her terds hit the water below.

Men could care less. We blow the doors off the stall and high five afterwards!
1. Girls dont poop.

2. At the boathouse, the stall doesnt have a door .
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Unread 04-14-2011, 05:28 PM   #33
rakevan
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bleed 7 days a month but exhibit symptoms 365 days a year
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Unread 04-14-2011, 07:32 PM   #34
jeepinvader
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I rode to school with my female neighbor every day during sophomore and junior year. There's no way I can remember all the stuff she told me, but I remember one while we were in parking lot traffic. We'd been slowly crawling through the traffic for about 10 minutes. I looked at her temp gauge, and it hadn't moved at all. I asked if she'd noticed it not working, and she said she didn't really pay attention to it (shocking, i know). Then I told her she should keep an eye on it so she can see if the engine starts to overheat. She then tells me it's not a big deal because it won't overheat, since it's winter.

I'll think of more, just give me time.
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Unread 04-14-2011, 07:44 PM   #35
jeepinvader
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Oh, I got another one. Her clutch wore out, cuz she let it off way too slow (again, shocking). I remember one day going up the small hill to school, engine at about 4,000 rpm, and her saying "come on car, you can do it!" I asked if she was completely off the clutch, and she was. I told her she needed a new clutch. She got it repaired, and the next day i remember her telling me how the mechanic told her how if she kept driving it like that, her tires would fall off (not kidding). I wasn't sure how to reply to that. I'm still stumped on that one.
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Unread 04-14-2011, 07:48 PM   #36
heretolearn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marksman1941 View Post
I was putting a quart of oil in my jeep when my (then) girlfriend asked me how an engine "turned over'. I asked her to clarify her question, and she said "How does it spin with all those wires and hoses hooked up to it? It seems like they would get tangled". I just shut the hood and sat down in the drivers seat. I was honestly at a loss for words.
5 seconds before i read this my mtn dew can was full.... now its all over my desk
that is so great
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Unread 04-14-2011, 07:57 PM   #37
jeepinvader
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A woman's car starts sputtering, and she pulls it into a repair shop. After a while, the mechanic tells her it's done.

Woman: "What was wrong with it?"
Mechanic: "Just crap in the carbeurator."
Woman: "How often do I need to do that?"
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Unread 04-14-2011, 07:59 PM   #38
jbrem
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When I lived in a college house a couple years ago, parking was terrible in the area. So I parked in the back yard. This required jumping a curb with my XJ to get to my "spot". Well my gf at the time started freaking out after I did it once, saying "you're going to roll it, don't do that!"
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Unread 04-14-2011, 08:09 PM   #39
marksman1941
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heretolearn View Post
5 seconds before i read this my mtn dew can was full.... now its all over my desk
that is so great
Glad I could make you , but sorry about wasting your mt dew . I have a few other doozies from her, but they escape me at the moment. I tried to forget most everything she said, so it'll take a bit to remember them, lol.

One that comes to mind immediately wasn't so much a dumb comment, but watching her be the typical blonde. Trying to open the hatch on the xj was a challenge for her the first time. I told her just poke the button and lift. I came outside a few minutes later to find her poking the button, waiting a second, then lifting. Nothing would happen, so she would do it again. It had a stiff latch that needed to be fully pushed in and lifted at the same time, and it never occured to her to try that. Watching it was much funnier than reading about it I suppose, but it was still (sadly) hilarious.
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Unread 04-14-2011, 09:10 PM   #40
helicase50
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I admit, I have my moments where the blonde shows through, but I am never this bad.

I had a friend who had a brand new focus, one day we were talking about spare tires. She told me "I don't have a spare", I asked her why she thought this, apparently it was because she couldn't see it or figure out where it would fit because it was not "like an suv". Yeah, I go to show her what was under the mat in her trunk.

Same friend, wanted to clean her windshield while we were driving, no fluid came out (she was out). I told her to swing in some place and I would fill it for her. She said it couldn't possibly that, it just refills itself, something had to be wrong with her wipers or some mechanical problem. She actually went to the dealer and told them it was broken. The mechanic came out and goes "you're out of fluid".


I have facepalmed so many times because of my friends.
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Unread 04-14-2011, 11:33 PM   #41
Sarahdactyl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 96_XJ_Sport View Post
have a million+ pillows on her bed
I have a shelf in the house overflowing with stuffed elephants.
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Quote:
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Sarah has the punctuality of an American airlines flight in a Chicago snowstorm
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Unread 04-15-2011, 12:40 AM   #42
Griff97
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Years ago my mom couldn't find the ice scrapper when her car window was frosted over. She figured the puddy knife was good for scraping loose paint so it would work for her windshield. Needless to say the windshield had to be replaced after this move.

My wife was driving my TJ and called me in semi panic because it wouldn't start. She wasn't pushing the clutch in. Mind you she drove it to where it was prior to calling me.
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Unread 04-15-2011, 01:54 AM   #43
scavanau
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Thingy is a noun meaning "I have no idea what it's called or used for"
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Unread 04-15-2011, 03:05 AM   #44
mudpuppy_n_jeep
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well all i know is
if my wife lost her hands she would stutter
and i love it when she drives and the car makes a noise
so she comes home and imates it for me
lmao
and my oldest daughter[18,blonde]just found the ashtray in her kia[been driving it a yr]
yep it was hiding in the dash right under the radio-imagine that
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Unread 04-15-2011, 03:22 AM   #45
MT_Thunder
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepinvader
A woman's car starts sputtering, and she pulls it into a repair shop. After a while, the mechanic tells her it's done.

Woman: "What was wrong with it?"
Mechanic: "Just crap in the carbeurator."
Woman: "How often do I need to do that?"
All these are great but this one made me laugh the hardest.
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