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Unread 03-09-2006, 09:31 AM   #1
LandRover
Registered User
1998 XJ Cherokee 
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Your Head
Posts: 2,233
The Rules

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Nearly all females are born with this knowledge.

4. If a female suspects that a male knows the rules, she may immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express, written consent from the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. Any attempt by a male to change these rules could result in severe bodily harm.



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Unread 03-09-2006, 11:56 AM   #2
trailblaze
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2004 WJ 
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Foothills of the Laurel Mtns..
Posts: 1,861
hah if my wife saw those i'd have to ship her out the door.... she doesn't know any of them rules....lucky me!!
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:39 AM   #3
Levinz11
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 339
damn rules
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:41 AM   #4
iluvtruenos
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,345
Hahahahaha, it's people like you that play by the rules are on here complaining about your wife cheating on you. With me.


And how you have to ship parts to your friend's house so your wife won't crank another turn on the vice that your balls are in.

And how.....ehh I'll just shut up now.


No disrespect to you, LandRover.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:41 AM   #5
lildevildee
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1990 YJ Wrangler 
 
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Location: Back Bay, VA
Posts: 45
Rules were meant to be broken.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:44 AM   #6
Levinz11
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1991 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
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Posts: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvtruenos View Post
Hahahahaha, it's people like you that play by the rules are on here complaining about your wife cheating on you. With me.


And how you have to ship parts to your friend's house so your wife won't crank another turn on the vice that your balls are in.

And how.....ehh I'll just shut up now.


No disrespect to you, LandRover.
Wow man. I was just sayin...
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:47 AM   #7
grogie
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Indy
Posts: 7,245
I'm surprised this hasn't been posted where I work yet?
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:49 AM   #8
timmyt
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2006 LJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 745
i got these rules today.

lildevildee take note

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:


Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.




Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.




More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another soda while he flips the meat.




Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.




More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.



And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her 'night off,' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 11:51 AM   #9
Chatham036
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1997 ZJ 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: grayson, ga
Posts: 176
Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvtruenos View Post
Hahahahaha, it's people like you that play by the rules are on here complaining about your wife cheating on you. With me.


And how you have to ship parts to your friend's house so your wife won't crank another turn on the vice that your balls are in.

And how.....ehh I'll just shut up now.


No disrespect to you, LandRover.
you fail
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[/QUOTE]
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Unread 07-08-2009, 12:00 PM   #10
lildevildee
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1990 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Back Bay, VA
Posts: 45
You guys do realize there are times that men should not be allowed around a grill? My brother in law is the perfect example of this.

Complains that our thermometer is broken and our grill doesn't heat, over-cooks everything and burns the food (I've had jerky that was more tender and juicy) then proceeded to tell me I didn't know what I was doing with the grill and it's my fault all the while drinking more beer.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 12:02 PM   #11
lildevildee
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1990 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Back Bay, VA
Posts: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvtruenos View Post
Hahahahaha, it's people like you that play by the rules are on here complaining about your wife cheating on you. With me.


And how you have to ship parts to your friend's house so your wife won't crank another turn on the vice that your balls are in.

And how.....ehh I'll just shut up now.


No disrespect to you, LandRover.

This could possibly explain why you're alone and looking for married women. They know they wouldn't want you and are just using you as much as you're bragging about them.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 12:05 PM   #12
asf06
Registered User
1993 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 276
our rules:

The Man Code
1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.
2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "one time in Montreal", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bull****!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
8. *****ing about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.
9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.
11. Do not torpedo single friends.
12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"
14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
15. If a mans zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!
16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)
17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.
19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or *** peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.
23. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good *** wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.
24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.
25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.
26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.
27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a ***** standing on the sideline.
28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.
29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ***! Are you a Sagittarius?"
31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.
32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.
33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.
34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide.
36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.
37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "**** off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.
38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.
39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.
40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year
41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)
42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.
43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is oral sex involved).
44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.
45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)
46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.
47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.
48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.
49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.
50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving faster than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.
51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.
52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)
53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.
54. A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.
55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.
56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)
57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
58. There is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)
59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tighty's. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.
60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.
61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.
62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.
63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.
64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.
65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.
66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don't try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary...
68. If you say ouch, you are a *****!
69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls)
70. It is your duty as a heterosexual male to make your buddy aware of any thong sightings in the immediate surroundings, it is even permissable if the girl is butt *** ugly, hey nobody wants to go down alone.
71. There are only three times when its acceptable for a man to say "I love you" to any other man... 1. He's drunk 2. He's dying 3. He's in trouble and it's the only way out of it (which probably means he's drunk anyway)
72. At no time during a conversation with a buddy on instant messenger is either man allowed to send smiley faces to the other. This is simply too gay and it makes you look like a chick.
73. Under NO circumstances are two men allowed to ride together on one motorcycle/moped. (Exception - your *** better be on the way to the Hospital)
74. Never rent the movie "Chocolat" or "A Big Fat Greek Wedding" unless you know in advance that you will be getting at least oral sex in return from the chick you are renting it for. ( Sex is also required to happen)
75. If you are in the other room having monkey sex and you can be heard over the loud television and through a closed door, then every guy in the house is allowed to listen and laugh and use it against the other guy for black mail, extortion, etc. in the future
76. What happens in Montreal, stays in Montreal. Period. No questions asked.
77. It is acceptable to share a bed with another guy if and only if, it is a king-size bed and there are 2 blankets on the bed. The minute you touch in the slightest way, you are officially deemed a Homo.
78. If your buddy gets arrested and is going away to prison it is your duty to buy him soap on a rope.
79. It is perfectly acceptable to use a trashcan for a bong.
* with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess.
__________________
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Unread 07-08-2009, 12:21 PM   #13
Levinz11
Registered User
1991 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by asf06 View Post
our rules:

The Man Code
1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.
2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "one time in Montreal", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bull****!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
8. *****ing about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.
9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.
11. Do not torpedo single friends.
12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"
14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
15. If a mans zipper is down, thatís his problem, you didnít see anything!
16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)
17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.
19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or *** peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.
23. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good *** wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.
24. Friends donít let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.
25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.
26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.
27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you donít let him be the last sorry son of a ***** standing on the sideline.
28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.
29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ***! Are you a Sagittarius?"
31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. Thatís just mean.
32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.
33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.
34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide.
36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.
37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "**** off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.
38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.
39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.
40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year
41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)
42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.
43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is oral sex involved).
44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.
45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)
46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.
47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.
48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.
49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.
50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving faster than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.
51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.
52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)
53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.
54. A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.
55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.
56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)
57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
58. There is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)
59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DONíT wear whitey tighty's. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.
60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.
61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.
62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.
63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isnít talking.
64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.
65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.
66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don't try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary...
68. If you say ouch, you are a *****!
69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls)
70. It is your duty as a heterosexual male to make your buddy aware of any thong sightings in the immediate surroundings, it is even permissable if the girl is butt *** ugly, hey nobody wants to go down alone.
71. There are only three times when its acceptable for a man to say "I love you" to any other man... 1. He's drunk 2. He's dying 3. He's in trouble and it's the only way out of it (which probably means he's drunk anyway)
72. At no time during a conversation with a buddy on instant messenger is either man allowed to send smiley faces to the other. This is simply too gay and it makes you look like a chick.
73. Under NO circumstances are two men allowed to ride together on one motorcycle/moped. (Exception - your *** better be on the way to the Hospital)
74. Never rent the movie "Chocolat" or "A Big Fat Greek Wedding" unless you know in advance that you will be getting at least oral sex in return from the chick you are renting it for. ( Sex is also required to happen)
75. If you are in the other room having monkey sex and you can be heard over the loud television and through a closed door, then every guy in the house is allowed to listen and laugh and use it against the other guy for black mail, extortion, etc. in the future
76. What happens in Montreal, stays in Montreal. Period. No questions asked.
77. It is acceptable to share a bed with another guy if and only if, it is a king-size bed and there are 2 blankets on the bed. The minute you touch in the slightest way, you are officially deemed a Homo.
78. If your buddy gets arrested and is going away to prison it is your duty to buy him soap on a rope.
79. It is perfectly acceptable to use a trashcan for a bong.
* with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess.

Holy ****!! I found myself reading page 1001 in the General Discussion section and decided to bring this one back from the dead.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 12:24 PM   #14
lildevildee
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1990 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Back Bay, VA
Posts: 45
I wish I would pay more attention to the dates. 2 yr old crap smells.
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Unread 07-08-2009, 12:28 PM   #15
Levinz11
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1991 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 339
Sorry dude. Just sniff those cherries
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