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#1 | |
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Registered User
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random pic
Found a random pic of Hank today!
Hank, I'm kidding with you. So no bricks
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#2 |
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Registered User
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here's some jeep chicks. A little young, so maybe for the guys with sons
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#3 |
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Registered User
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here's a book that everyone should read. Drack is a co-author of the book.
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#4 | |
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Master of the Obvious
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Quote:
__________________
"AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY" "We, too, born to freedom, and believing in freedom, are willing to fight to maintain freedom. We and all others who believe as deeply as we do, would rather die on our feet than live on our knees." FDR Blue Jeep Club Member #4 92 Canyon Blue Wrangler YJ 4.0L - with some fun goodies |
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#5 |
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Registered User
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For you guys that have daughters that will be dating soon. I know all of us guys have been through something like this before.
Can't wait until the day that I can mess with my daughters would be boyfriends Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately display a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter's suitors feel even worse. My motto: "Wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night." "So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?" As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as hell not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them from your body. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, I am told, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for a movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful... like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness of any kind. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her Adam’s Apple. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay, too. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight, speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these ten simple rules from memory. Hey, if I were him, I'd be embarrassed, too-- there are only ten of them, for crying out loud! And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I'd have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. (I checked into it. The cost is prohibitive.) I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball-point pen might be inadequate (ink washes off) and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative. One time, when my wife caught me having one of my daughter's would-be suitors practice pulling into the driveway, get out of the car, and go up to knock on the front door (he had violated rule number one, so I figured he needed to run through the drill a few dozen times) she asked me why I was being so hard on the boy. "Don't you remember being that age?" she challenged. Of course I remember. Why do you think I came up with the ten simple rules? Jerry Taylor Technology Integration Teacher Greece (NY) School District http://jerrytaylor.homestead.com |
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#6 |
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Registered User
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Taters here's a pic for ya. This deals with your name
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#7 | |
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Registered User
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Quote:
Girls don't have Adam Apples ![]()
__________________
[b]JPMan-TJ[/b] |
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#8 | |
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Registered User
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Quote:
__________________
1989 YJ: 3.5" of lift, 36" irok's, warn 9.5ti, d44's 1998 XJ classic for DD, a little lift, a little tires |
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#9 |
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Web Wheeler
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my daughter should be as much as a rebel as I was-
the choices she make will be hers and I will stand behind her in all her choices. I will try to help her in her choices but God knows I made lots of mistakes myself and paid for them- I turned out ok and she will to- now she is only 1 1/2 but I can only do the best I can to raise her and hope she makes good choices. But like I said- I will alway stand behind her- what ever she chooses to do.
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97 TJ |
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#10 |
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Registered User
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yeah, but you can still have fun harrassing her boyfriends when she's old enough to date
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#11 |
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Registered User
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Wow! All I have to say, is thank goodness, that isn't my dad... but i guess the gun cabinet with the 12 rifles across the way from the entrance is intimidating enough... LOL
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--96 ZJ Laredo Black Jeep Club Member #? Stock cause I'm just broke, but hopefully not for long One who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing... |
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#12 |
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Registered User
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I think my biggest fear about having kids is that I have a daughter who eventually dates someone like me
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91 YJ currently rebuilding my jeep can fly can yours [B]if you don't know about cages or spiked tang sit down and shutup[/B] |
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#13 |
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Registered User
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KTJ,
I didnt know you had a kid??? -Heath
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93 Black YJ, locked and on 33's----Sold 03 TJ Sport.....31" MT/R's on MT Classic II's |
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#14 |
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Registered User
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well i guess its safe to say that im not going to date anyone for a while, im scared now that my friends parents think the same way...
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__________________
[SIZE=5][COLOR=darkslateblue]88' XJ Cherokee [/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=darkslateblue][SIZE=4][I][B]Pioneer[/B][/I][/SIZE][/COLOR] 4.0L engine "Low Output" BA10/5 5-spd. tranny 172,000+ miles 1.5" boost up front, nadda" in rear :( 235/75 Goodyear MT/Rs Tomken Rear Bumper w/ Tire Carrier Custom Camouflage Interior -->[URL]http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/herzeleid76/[/URL] [URL]http://www.keiraknightley.com/[/URL] yea yea, she's worth it |
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#15 | |
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Registered User
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Quote:
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__________________
USAF Jeep Club Member #14 White Jeep Club Founder Member #1 REDNECK JEEP CLUB Member #1.1 and President! Medical Cannabis Jeep club (I know I'm not the only member) |
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