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Not cool enough to run with the "tuners"

12K views 154 replies 59 participants last post by  Ih8Hondas 
#1 ·
An old buddy from high school recently set up a tuner club on facebook. Him and his buddies imediatley started posting up pics of OAI's and painted valvecovers, so I had to give a proper intro so I could fit in. I just posted it for a good ribbing but he must have not liked it as it was deleted soon after :(



I'm runnin a 4.0 with the duel crankshaft torque converter valves, smoker-fogger coal injection kit, full roller muffler bearings not cheap **** ball bearings, exhaust recirculation bracket, full synthetic blinker fluid and high speed seat adjusters. I tried to get her dyno'd but she kept crossing the space time continuum so we couldnt get an acurate reading. Ended up going to NASA to have in measured in jigga-watts. Apparently my exhaust heat alone puts out 7 JEEPS (10x the rotational force of the earth= 1 JEEP) To get an idea of that kind of power, the last time I missed a shift was on March 11th which caused multiple deaths in Japan. Long story short shes in the garage right now plugged into the east coast power grid to help keep the country running, if I didnt let her burn off power while shes turned off she would quickly heat up to the temperature of the sun and engulf the planet in flames.
 
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#5 ·
I lol'd. Did he not like the blinker fluid or seat adjusters? I thought they were an extra special touch.


Yeah, tuners and jeepers tend not to mix.
 
#7 ·
Yeah, tuners and jeepers tend not to mix.
Considering he was what you'd call an "old friend" I was kinda surprised it was deleted. Somebodys a little sensitive!
 
#6 ·
:rofl:
 
#10 ·
:rofl:

This is almost as funny as the original post!
 
#14 ·
No park bench wing? I like a clean tuner car, but cheap *** 17" rims, a Acura badge where a Honda badge was, and cut coils don't make your 88 Civic a race car. It makes it a mistake. The only thing worse than cheap *** ricers are over sensitive tuner punks. I don't care how rare your JDM map light is, at the end of the day, it was originally a commuter car.
 
#16 ·
I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bull****. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free.
What did you put in that sandwich?
It's not how you stand by your car, it's how you race your car.
NOS! I need NOS!

****in ricers.
 
#18 ·
i like stomping rice. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

and yes. the original post was very entertaining.

but you forgot about your kneuter valve kit. or is that next on the list?
 
#20 ·
Hussler, IRC. STAT! lol.
 
#31 ·
Also.. wow. Your power steering pump is amazingly clean
that's a power steering pump reservoir converted to a jp-8 injection catalyst diffuser. it uses the buffer core from his inline cam filter to boost the output from the spark inhibiting interstage windings.

Also the sticker on top adds 5 hp
 
#42 ·
#49 ·
The sad thing is, in stock form a XJ is probably quicker than most riced out cars.

I have a NOS spare on my jeep.

I can actually feel the VTAK kick in on my Focus (even though it's not VTAK!!!) on onramps. Thing has no power until about 4000. Then it ... well it starts to accelerate a bit ... can't say it takes off.
 
#52 ·
V-TAK Variable Transistor Accumulator Kineticizor
 
#55 ·
If you want a sleeper try a crown vic police interceptor.I love when the tuners try to pass me and i let them her what a real h-pipe with dual flowmaster 40s sound like. On a side note the crown vic handles like its on rails.Ive owned camaros,mustang cobra,focus svt,Taurus sho,trans am,t-birds, and the crown vic out handles them all.
 
#56 ·
Damn I hate tuners especially the ones with coffe cans for mufflers.

But if they are built right those little b*stards will run.I have buddy with and old crx that will run high 9's in the quarter.Went with him one day to dyno it and could not beleive the hp that little 4 banger was putting out.It was pushing 480 hp. He is also a jeeper.
 
#58 ·
Damn I hate tuners especially the ones with coffe cans for mufflers.
^this

what dilutes them into thinking anything resembling the sound of a fart even comes remotely close to cool.

you can also judge the speed of a ricer by the sound of the exhaust.
the louder the car the slower it is
 
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