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Unread 01-31-2013, 08:34 AM   #1
Ross
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New government travel procedures

I work for the DOD and sometimes I have to travel for work. In order to deal with budget cut backs the government is looking to save money anyway possible, at least when it comes to the DOD.

I received this email today. It explains new procedures we are to do in order to cut costs. There are some interesting changes that have been made:


Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE


New direction on TDY/TAD Travel:

In keeping with the latest round of DOD budget cuts, changes will be made to the Joint Travel Regulations (JTR). Effective Monday the following revised procedures apply:

Lodging: All DOD personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

Transportation: Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure on TDY. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Washington D.C., but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Omaha, NE, then travel to Omaha will be substituted for travel to Washington D.C.

Meals: Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Costco, Hickory Farms, General Nutrition centers, and occasionally Safeway often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. We realize many of you survive your weekends this way.

Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat" salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. DOD Personnel are also encouraged to bring their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without the bother of heating or costly preparation. Cost of these items will not be reimbursed.

Miscellaneous: All DOD personnel are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save tax dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods, which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and Ballpoint pens will also be available to personnel so that sales may be made as time permits. Proceeds must be turned into the DOD finance section at the conclusion of the TDY. We welcome any suggestions for further fiscal innovations. Remember, "We invite you to be a Waste Buster"
UNCLASSIFIED

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE


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Unread 01-31-2013, 09:19 AM   #2
GunMetalBlue
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I'm going to have to call BS. They would never list "Hitchhiking" as the preferred method of travel, among other things in the above. It's funny though.

With the funding unknowns coming up for DoD, cutting down on travel makes sense.
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Unread 01-31-2013, 09:24 AM   #3
ZeroGravity
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Good read.
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Unread 01-31-2013, 09:27 AM   #4
nwiTJdave
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Haha.
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Unread 01-31-2013, 09:28 AM   #5
WJlover
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Quote:
Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure on TDY.
LOL WWWHHAAAATTT!!!????
i have to say, this sounds fake. like an elaborate joke or something.
and if it is real, then the DOD has lost their ****ing minds
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Unread 01-31-2013, 09:34 AM   #6
Ross
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Of course it is fake. We are having allot of new requirements pertaining to travel. Most of it has to do with who becomes the approving authority and at what level is it determined to be mission critical.
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Unread 01-31-2013, 09:37 AM   #7
WJlover
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i just started reading more of it. because to be honest, i had to stop at travel lol. and ya it definitely screams fake to me now.

got me good though!
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Unread 01-31-2013, 04:52 PM   #8
SunDevilJeeper
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Seems legit.
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Unread 02-01-2013, 07:44 AM   #9
bobjp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WJlover View Post
LOL WWWHHAAAATTT!!!????
i have to say, this sounds fake. like an elaborate joke or something.
and if it is real, then the DOD has lost their ****ing minds
Now that you mention it, it does sound fake.

In reality the cuts are probably just going to bring them down to the way the rest of us have to work.
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