Need help on helping...

i love texas · 07-23-2008, 11:15 PM

Alright, so i work at a restaurant and this old man comes in two times a day. Im fairly new to this place, but apparently hes been coming everyday for years now. So lately during my breaks or after work i always sit with this man and talk about everything. He used to be a professor or coach at the university of hawaii and he was also a coach at the high school level and a job locator...unfortunately im 90% sure that his wife died and he's all alone now. Anyways when we talk i cant help but notice that he forgets everyones names, hes very clumsy, and he keeps on repeating the same thing over and over again. I cant help but notice that these are the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. My grandfather died from Alzheimer's and i really want to help this man before it becomes anything serious. This is really personal and important to me. Can anyone advise me on what to do or recommend to this man.
Sorry about the long post with no paragraphs..but im pretty upset.
Thanks

tcox · 07-23-2008, 11:20 PM

maybe somehow mention your grandfathers illness if you want to bring it up

**Blake** · 07-23-2008, 11:27 PM

Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I do want to say thanks for caring. That's something not a lot of people find time in their day to do.

**bman9089** · 07-24-2008, 12:13 AM

If he's been going there often (where ever 'there' is), have you checked with other people who have been around him longer than you?

i love texas · 07-24-2008, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bman9089

If he's been going there often (where ever 'there' is), have you checked with other people who have been around him longer than you?

yeah i have , he always asks one of the employees to get up and refill his drink for him because one time he fell and now hes scared to fall again(symptom of alzheimer's-clumsiness). anyways everyone talks to him and is nice to him but they havent gotten to know him as well as i have and they just dont seem to care. Also they are mainly a bunch of uneducated people who dont really know the symptoms of alzheimer's and they really dont care about him too much. I actually just started doing research on alzheimer's with a medical foundation so i kinda know the symptoms and the other stuff.

**RnEmOvr** · 07-24-2008, 02:01 AM

i say bring up your grandpa and see how he acts then let us know

jsbarks · 07-24-2008, 05:31 AM

remind him he forgot to tip you!

**jbolty** · 07-24-2008, 08:21 AM

it's a good thing you are trying to do.

I would be careful what you bring up though; he might get agitated and stop coming in if he think you are telling him he is losing it.

How does he get there? Can you walk him home one day? If you find out where he lives you might be able to find out if he has other familiy.

Or, perhaps your county mental health might have someone you could talk to and perhaps they could come to your place and get involved or give advice.

Or, do you know someone about his age that could join in the conversation and get more information out of him?

bono426 · 07-24-2008, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jsbarks

remind him he forgot to tip you!

HAHAHAhahaha. I was just going to say that but you beat me too it.

**vitapimp** · 07-24-2008, 08:49 AM

does he have family locally (son/daughter)? try and get a hold of them.

trailblazer2003 · 07-24-2008, 08:49 AM

I think you are doing a rare and good thing by getting involved, there is still hope for society. As others have said, I would be careful how you introduce illness to him, or bring in professional help. You don't want him getting angry, and never coming back. Also, in most circumstances you can't make him seek medical help, unless he is a danger to himself or others.

Otahyoni · 07-24-2008, 11:37 AM

I dont have any ideas to help you, but i just wanted to thank you for trying to help someone you really don't know. We need more people like you in society.

**Rob99** · 07-24-2008, 11:42 AM

Ask when he had his last checkup and offer to take him.

**KatahdinJeeper** · 07-24-2008, 11:54 AM

That's a very good thing that you're doing. The best advice I can give is this: I wouldn't mention Alzheimer's to him, as 1)you're not a doctor and shouldn't be diagnosing, even if you think for 99% sure you're right and 2)it'll freak him out, as I'm sure he may have already noticed some of the symptoms you've described.

What I would do is focus on his unsteadiness on his feet. Ask him if he's mentioned it to his doctor, as he could have an "inner ear" problem. In other words, you're telling him "I don't think you're crazy or losing it, but that this could be fixable". If he seems open about it, ask his doctor's name, kind of in passing, and maybe give them a call. The doctor won't give you any information, but he can sure listen to your information all day long. Or, you could advise him to mention his fall to his doctor, and hope the the M.D. is wise to asking him some further questions.

Whatever you do, I think it speaks to your character that you're interested in helping this individual. Be careful, however, as I saw symptoms of the diseases I work with in everyone when I was first starting out. This guy could naturally just be this way. Either way, please have children, so there are more people like you...

i love texas · 07-25-2008, 04:59 PM

thanks for the props guys. I talked to the man again today but this time i tried to have a neutral viewpoint considering the Alzheimer's and it really isnt that bad. He remembers almost everything but he forgets everyones names...so i guess theres a strong possibility that it isnt Alzheimer's. Anyway i remembered that he was from dallas and i casually brought up the fact that he was from Dallas and i asked him if he had any family here (houston) and he said that all he had was his sister(best buddy) in spring texas which is kinda far from where he lives. So pretty much he's all alone. Im beginning to think that i was wrong in my amateur diagnosis...he still remembers all the street names and neighborhoods and all sorts of random stuff.

07-24-2008, 08:49 AM	#11
trailblazer2003 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 70 Profile Gallery Classifieds My Jeeps	I think you are doing a rare and good thing by getting involved, there is still hope for society. As others have said, I would be careful how you introduce illness to him, or bring in professional help. You don't want him getting angry, and never coming back. Also, in most circumstances you can't make him seek medical help, unless he is a danger to himself or others.

07-25-2008, 04:59 PM	#15
i love texas Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: texas Posts: 32 Profile Gallery Classifieds My Jeeps	thanks for the props guys. I talked to the man again today but this time i tried to have a neutral viewpoint considering the Alzheimer's and it really isnt that bad. He remembers almost everything but he forgets everyones names...so i guess theres a strong possibility that it isnt Alzheimer's. Anyway i remembered that he was from dallas and i casually brought up the fact that he was from Dallas and i asked him if he had any family here (houston) and he said that all he had was his sister(best buddy) in spring texas which is kinda far from where he lives. So pretty much he's all alone. Im beginning to think that i was wrong in my amateur diagnosis...he still remembers all the street names and neighborhoods and all sorts of random stuff.