The Man Rules - JeepForum.com

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post #1 of 20 Old 01-21-2009, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
Trav79
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The Man Rules

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


Finally, the guys Side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear From the female side.

'the rules'

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note..these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:!
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Any thing we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
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post #2 of 20 Old 01-21-2009, 01:53 PM
aggiejeep07
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I'm going to make my girlfriend sign that, if she doesn't, i'll find another that will
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post #3 of 20 Old 01-21-2009, 08:58 PM Thread Starter
Trav79
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should of made my wife sign it....
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post #4 of 20 Old 01-21-2009, 09:01 PM
AlTheKillerr
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sweet myspace chain letters

Photographer
2000 XJ, 3.5" lift, 32s, Locked
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post #5 of 20 Old 01-21-2009, 09:09 PM
Rollin
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I told my GF to read this, saying that its like a handbook for men. She told me she didnt need one. Typical woman

1998 Jeep Cherokee Classic: Bull Bar, TracLock Chrysler 8.25"
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post #6 of 20 Old 05-09-2012, 06:50 PM
Axiom807
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The part I found most amusing is that these are labeled as number one. They're all rule number one haha.....Jeep
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post #7 of 20 Old 05-09-2012, 08:47 PM
Xpress
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Garage









All about that unibody life.
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post #8 of 20 Old 05-09-2012, 09:20 PM
ILoveMyJeep1996
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^lol at the fat dude

Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say "are you gonna drink that?"
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
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post #9 of 20 Old 05-09-2012, 10:17 PM
91YJ4X4
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Half of these are rules for girls by men...not sure I get it?


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post #10 of 20 Old 05-09-2012, 11:04 PM
zander21510
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Its one of those internet lists that has gone around over the years, I've seen it before.

Pretty sure my girl would just roll her eyes and say "well DUHHHHH its from your obsession JeepForum...who cares" then go on and on about how I'm obsessed or addicted while she checks her facebook for the 300th time that day....

Let me tell you...it's like literally a half hour every morning...she has to sit there and catch up on EVERY SINGLE update on her newsfeed of her 800~ "friends"...then throughout the day...pasted to the screen...and complains when I check JeepForum at most when I'm bored....
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post #11 of 20 Old 05-10-2012, 01:26 AM
Xpress
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800 freaking friends?!?! I have 400 and can barely manage to keep up with them, even at work when I'm doing nothing

All about that unibody life.
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post #12 of 20 Old 05-10-2012, 03:37 AM
the88thpianoman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlTheKillerr View Post
sweet myspace chain letters
Myspace? This thing has been floating around since the invention of email

2003 WJ in Jeep Green Metallic, 4.0/242/4.10's. 4" Teraflex springs w/ RE monotube shocks and IRO short arms, cheap intake w/ amsoil filter, 2.5" hi flow cat and back exhaust, lots of lights and other misc crap.

Check out my build thread here:
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post #13 of 20 Old 05-10-2012, 04:25 AM
andy02
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpress View Post
800 freaking friends?!?! I have 400 and can barely manage to keep up with them, even at work when I'm doing nothing
I have less than 100. Hell, I might be up to 60 now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hendrix
No one really knows the reason for LCOG Jeeps.

Its so short ****s like me and you can still get in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ACR View Post
My issue was I couldn't get the balls centered. I had to use some extra force to get everything lined up right. It didn't take me long.


September 11 2001
Never Forget!
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post #14 of 20 Old 05-10-2012, 08:06 AM
umbra
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1. Stay out of the basement and garage. You already have the rest of the house.
1. Throw pillows on a bed are just in the way.
1. If you say there is no such thing as "women's work", then be prepared to cut the grass or change a tire once in a while.
1. We really don't care what's for dinner, we'll eat anything. We ate beer with cereal, moldy chinese food and hot dogs before we met you.
1. We can cook. Spaghetti-os and frozen pizza are food.
1. If you can't go anywhere without being available to text or talk to anyone who calls, don't get mad if "we never talk".
1. Don't yell at us for missing the laundry hamper, then leave your stuff hanging all over the bathroom.
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post #15 of 20 Old 05-10-2012, 08:18 AM
fillerup
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Gee, I haven't seen that one in ten years.
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