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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:23 AM   #16
nosheep
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have you tryed to be "cool" with her? Ever ask how her weekend was or somthing ? The only options you have To completely fix the problem is get on her good side, find another Job, or don’t let it bother you. I know it sucks but remember life is short don’t sweat the small stuff, dont let her Misery become yours.

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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:33 AM   #17
1stblack97ZJ
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Take her out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:33 AM   #18
Kuntryboy816
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
She has had run ins with other people from the same office, not to this extent, but still...everyone knows "how she is".
I don't want to give her the satisfaction of me being "over it" because that sexual harrasment claim is now on my employee file....if I ever want to apply for a promotion within the company...that person will be able to see that I was confronted about that..
You NEED to identify what EXACTLY was noted in your employee file. They CAN NOT list it as sexual harassment unless 2 things happen...

First: She must draw the line in the sand. She must verbalize to you and say "enough" or "stop" to the behaviour, whether inappropriate language, touching, etc. This can be done directly by her, management or through an HR rep. This part she has done by reporting it to her manager. Whether her complaint was valid or not, it should be determined by an HR rep... not management.

Second: You must then cross that line AFTER she has drawn it. It can't be considered 'harassment' until you continue with the alleged behaviour after the complaint has been made. If she's complained and you never did/said anything after the complaint then it's not harassment.

As a manager I have dealt w/ this issue a few times. There are a few exceptions to the rule but those are mostly case-by-case determinations. I don't see how you've even been dinged with "sexual" harassment. The worst thing I can see is inappropriate conduct depending on what the convo was about.

As for interacting with her, as said above, make sure you are NEVER alone with her or speak with her alone. Be the bigger person and try to be helpful if needed as long as it's work related. You don't have to be totally dismissive but you don't have to be buddy/buddy w/ her either. Good luck!
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:43 AM   #19
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nosheep View Post
have you tryed to be "cool" with her? Ever ask how her weekend was or somthing ? The only options you have To completely fix the problem is get on her good side, find another Job, or don’t let it bother you. I know it sucks but remember life is short don’t sweat the small stuff, dont let her Misery become yours.
I don't want to be cool with her. She caused me ambarassment and I am afraid of what she will try to do if I get close again. I had a problem with her before and I squashed it and told her that I wanted us to be able to talk to eachother and stuff and everything was cool...then the day came up and I was confronted about sexual harassment....strike number 2.....
I cannot confide in her or trust her ever again....I will be glad to talk to her about work stuff and I have..but when she asks me how my weekend was or if I have any plans for the next weekend. I say yes or no or good.
Someone else told me to be overly nice to her and loud, so everyone can hear me being nice to her (which is what she does to me)
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Unread 04-24-2013, 12:12 PM   #20
DBLJ
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Don't be cool to her. Be neutral. Show no emotion. Only discuss work related issues. Nothing more, nothing less.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 01:06 PM   #21
Dngrs1
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I see you have posted about this issue before...............
http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/f7/ad...eeded-1475819/
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Unread 04-24-2013, 01:21 PM   #22
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dngrs1 View Post
I see you have posted about this issue before...............
http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/f7/ad...eeded-1475819/
Yeah that was right when it actually happened....its been about 2 months or so. Been keeping to myself ever since, I can tell it is getting to her. Today, she mentioned to my boss "its been quiet around here, its hard to talk to someone when they don't talk back" talking about me and my buddy.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 01:36 PM   #23
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also

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Unread 04-25-2013, 02:14 PM   #24
Balvar24
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"No I will not make out with you!"
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Unread 04-25-2013, 06:31 PM   #25
ionakana
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So she has been saying she is planning on shooting up the office because nobody likes her?









.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 04:04 AM   #26
THOR114
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IMO you gotta be very carful. You should be not talking ever ALONE with her, always have a witness there, keep a small notepad on you, write down ,date, time, who was present and what was said. And write it down right away, so you do not forget it. You could also carry a hidden tape-recorder. DO NOT say anything you would not want to repeat in a court of law. If she is after you to get you in trouble, or sue you civilly ( for whatever reason), you gotta watch your rear. Don't talk private stuff, just maybe say:
" sorry, I am a very private person". Or something like that. For work related questions, be honest but cordial. WATCH YOUR REAR. Document every interaction you have had with her right away, maybe in a bathroom. get with Human Resources, if you have the option. If you feel harassed by her, your supervisor does nothing, you gotta go over his head too. Make sure you always have witnesses.

Read our department policies, know your rights. That ways you can be safe.

If she is truly venomous she can claim all kind of BS just because she is a female and you are a male. You gotta watch out for yourself, that's why you should avoid being in a room alone with her. Can't trust her.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 07:01 AM   #27
Cherokeekid88
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Well, here is the problem. I sit right next to who I consider to be my best friend in the office. So we talk about stuff, what we did over the weekend, etc. Well, she sits on the other side of him. So she can hear what we talk about unless we are quiet. We always make sure we don't talk about anything that we could get in trouble for.
Shes been talking to me lately, asking about personal questions about my life and stuff and I just try to be as vague as possible. I can tell by her voice that she is trying to be annoying. Like when she comes in...she will say "well, good morning!!!" really loud for everyone to hear, but she is talking to me and she will do the same thing to my other co-worker.
Shes been going into my supervisors office quite a bit...I have no idea on what she is talking about with her, I can only assume.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 07:37 AM   #28
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Life is too short to put up with that kind of bullsh*t... seriously, if you were diagnosed with a terminal disease tomorrow - would you regret spending so much of your time going to work and putting up with that crap? I'd cut my losses and get out of there and never look back.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 07:40 AM   #29
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadownwpa View Post
Life is too short to put up with that kind of bullsh*t... seriously, if you were diagnosed with a terminal disease tomorrow - would you regret spending so much of your time going to work and putting up with that crap? I'd cut my losses and get out of there and never look back.
I disagree. Im not going to uproot my life and leave a job because of one bad apple. I shouldn't be forced to leave....she needs to be the one to go. Not saying I will never get another job, but just not gonna "cut my losses" because of a nimrod.
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Unread 04-26-2013, 10:35 AM   #30
THOR114
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I understand now better. That is a tough situation. Specially when she is the whole time in the same room. The person you consider your friend, can't you pull ( him/her) aside and say you won't talk no private stuff when she is there? I am sure that can be really difficult, but maybe it works. And maybe just concentrate more on your work. Please don't get that wrong, I am just trying to say " tread lightly" and leave a lighter profile so she can't check you out.

Do you have a human resource department at our job? How is your supervisor? Maybe an open confrontation with her in the supervisors office would end all that spook for you. But I don't know. You gotta go with your guts.

I have couple coworkers I feel the absolute same about, but at least I am not pinned to a chair in the same room to them. It's a really delicate situation. And you should not have to feel like that at work. Work should be a comfortable, harassment free place where you can do your work worry free...

But it seldom lay is the truth. That's why I am suggesting to talk to somebody from HR...be strong man....
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