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Unread 04-24-2013, 07:58 AM   #1
Cherokeekid88
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Ignoring a Co-Worker...

Long story short...Co-worker of mine has had problems with 85% of the people in my office. This person also claimed that another co-worker and myself were talking about something explicit and felt sexually harrassed, so this person ran to my boss and I was called in on a sexual harrassment claim. (which by the way, we were not talking about anything like that, it must have been taken out of context) I found out that this person was the one who made the claim. Also, I was never told what was said by either me or my fellow co worker....So this happened like 2 months ago, and I vowed that from now on, I would just ingore this person who made this claim against me if it had nothing to do with work. Suddenly, this person is trying to talk to me and ask me personal stuff and I am just not having it. Now, my thing is, I am wondering, can I get in trouble for NOT talking to her about anything non work related...can this person say that they feel isolated and uncomfortable?
I have spoken with both my supervisors and they both told me that I do not have to befriend this person, but that I can't be mean....I am sorry, but someone trying to sabotage your job and get you in trouble is someon that I can never trust again nor do I want to even talk to.
Whats your guys take...and yes this person is question is a girl...so that is what makes it even harder.

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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:06 AM   #2
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:08 AM   #3
DBLJ
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You are there to work, not make friends. Tell the person that you will be happy to answer any work related questions and nothing more. You already went to the boss so he knows. Who cares if it hurts the coworkers feelings.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:16 AM   #4
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Sounds like she's flirting with you. We'll need pictures.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:17 AM   #5
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBLJ View Post
You are there to work, not make friends. Tell the person that you will be happy to answer any work related questions and nothing more. You already went to the boss so he knows. Who cares if it hurts the coworkers feelings.
I agree. I just don't want her to go an complain and complain and then I end up getting the short end of the stick somehow. I believe that she is trying to push my buttons and get me to say something, so she will have a case against me.
My fellow Co-worker is doing the exact same thing as I am...we probably say 3 words to her daily and she sits right next to us.
I really try not to be mean, but its very hard. Whenever she asked me a question, I usually don't look directly at her and answer with yes or no or some short vague answer. Also, make it a point to NEVER talk to her without someone else around.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:17 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jbolty View Post
Sounds like she's flirting with you. We'll need pictures.
You'll thank me for not posting pictures....def not something you want to look at.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:19 AM   #7
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If she's asking personal questions that makes you feel uncomfortable, file a claim

What's good for the goose...


Hello Mr. Supervisor (or miss whatever), Flabbychucks over there keeps making advances towards me and I don't want to be raped by a Yeti. Please make it stop.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:24 AM   #8
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The way I always understood things, to really get in 'trouble', the person needs to tell you they feel uncomfortable and you need to comply and stop said behavior.

Now, we are talking about conversation, not touching, rape, etc.

You should also be able to tell your side of the story to the boss, whether it be to who you directly report to, or to the person above that. It may be that whatever you said was taken out of context and some sort of common ground can be reached so the work place doesn't feel uncomfortable for you or for her.

If you are worried about making her feel unpleasant, then ask yourself if you are helping or hurting the
situation. I would personally straight up tell her you are here to work and to let you know when she has work related material to speak about. It's direct and to the point, without being mean and ignoring her.

Now on a personal level, and as a woman myself, I don't understand why she didn't confront you first and then go to the boss second if she didn't feel like it was resolved to her satisfaction. Even if you are asked out by a coworker, for example, and are not interested in dating, you can't go claim that you were sexually harassed and have an employer seek reprimand because someone expressed interest. Now, if you were using crude language to refer to a female, or touched her inappropriately, that would be different. This doesn't seem to be the case here.

You don't need to be fake nice to her, you don't need to make small talk, and you certainly need to get it straightened out with the higher ups before this lady continues. Try to be around others if you have to be around her.

Good luck
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Unread 04-24-2013, 08:49 AM   #9
Cherokeekid88
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She has had run ins with other people from the same office, not to this extent, but still...everyone knows "how she is".
I don't want to give her the satisfaction of me being "over it" because that sexual harrasment claim is now on my employee file....if I ever want to apply for a promotion within the company...that person will be able to see that I was confronted about that..
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Unread 04-24-2013, 09:01 AM   #10
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you have a serious issue here if she has filed a sexual harrasment case against you. IF she truely felt she was harrased by you she would not be socializing with you in a friendly manner with conten other then work. My guys is she is probably on unstable grounds in her own job she is looking for a way she can sue the company for wrongful termination.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 09:18 AM   #11
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cyberpyrot View Post
you have a serious issue here if she has filed a sexual harrasment case against you. IF she truely felt she was harrased by you she would not be socializing with you in a friendly manner with conten other then work. My guys is she is probably on unstable grounds in her own job she is looking for a way she can sue the company for wrongful termination.
correct....she never took it any further(to my knowledge) than my boss' ear. I think I read where you only have 5 days or something like that to turn it into a case....
Honestly, she is just one of those sneaky people that will do whatever to get what she wants....that is why I choose not to associate with her at all.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 10:52 AM   #12
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Do you have an HR department where you work? If you do, I recommend you go and speak to them. Ask them what your options are. This will at least put someone outside your chain of command in the know. It sounds like your boss doesn't want to deal with drama so they are just telling you an easy answer on how to deal with it. Right now, you need to worry about protecting your own rear end, ethically. Don't exaggerate anything, but don't sell it short either.

As far as ignoring her, I think someone else already said if it is work related, answer it, if it isn't work related, politely tell her you don't have time right now as you are busy.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:00 AM   #13
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also she is obviously crazy sooo you should hit that.. Crazy chicks are freaks on the trail.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:07 AM   #14
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cyberpyrot View Post
also she is obviously crazy sooo you should hit that.. Crazy chicks are freaks on the trail.
not even with yours.....
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:10 AM   #15
Cherokeekid88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nwiTJdave View Post
Do you have an HR department where you work? If you do, I recommend you go and speak to them. Ask them what your options are. This will at least put someone outside your chain of command in the know. It sounds like your boss doesn't want to deal with drama so they are just telling you an easy answer on how to deal with it. Right now, you need to worry about protecting your own rear end, ethically. Don't exaggerate anything, but don't sell it short either.

As far as ignoring her, I think someone else already said if it is work related, answer it, if it isn't work related, politely tell her you don't have time right now as you are busy.
here is the problem with that...if I turn this into big fiasco....one of two things will happen....She will get transferred or whatever...or I will get transferred or whatever...She has a bit of seniority over me and is a bit more valueable to the company than I. So, I am thinking things would go south for me and not her...plus her sister works for our audit department and has been here a long time...many think, this is why she still works here.
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