I just don't know... - JeepForum.com

LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 22 Old 03-19-2004, 11:40 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
whitevette's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 268
I just don't know...

Found out tonight that the person in this world that I love more than anything, the person I'd die for, the person I'd kill for, the single person I've wanted to spend the rest of my life with for the past four years...

...has cervical cancer.

She has kept it from me since July, knowing how I'd react. Being on oppsite sides of the country most of the time is why that was possible. If the typing goes downhill, get over it as I'm getting drunk.

Talk about a -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=ing wake-up call. I had known she was sick, but could never get her to explain it over the phone. Saw her tonight (I'm in VA right now) and started pushing the subject. She told me and here I am, a few hours later, drinking beer, dealing with this realization. As I pulled out of her driveway I saw her through the kitchen window and the seriousness of this finally, somewhat, struck me. I doubt it's totally sunk in already. I had to pull over a few times to just sit there and cry so I wouldn't crash. Only two things in my life have caused me to cry. One, was my grandfathers funeral when I was seven or eight. Second, is her.

How the -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= do you deal with something like this? My usual method is to just bottle it up inside and wait for it to disappear. I don't see that working, AT ALL. This hit home. It has struck the very core of my being. It changes EVERYTHING. And here I am, with no clue on what to do. No clue on how to deal with this. I'm being stabbed right in the heart by three words. "I have cancer."

Eight weeks left of school and after that I'd be able to move back to the area to be with her all the time. If I do move back, this is going to be the longest eight weeks of my life. Sunday we're going to get togther and talk this out some more. The rest of today )saturday) is gong to be so difficult for me. She's had half a year to get used to this issue. I've had a few hours. It's still sinking in, and it's already ripping me apart.

I never would have guessed when I saw her and held her that she was sick in any way. She's your typical, healthy, beautiful, energetic 19 year old girl, with her whole life laid out in front of her waiting on her decisions. God, she's so beautiful. So vivacious. The absolute core of my being. And she has cancer... Something that can take her from me, completely destroy her, and I'm absolutely powerless to stop it. There's nothing I can do execpt deal with it, put up with it, accept it. That's not my way of doing things. This is going to change me in more ways than I realize.

I'm sitting here, drinking, and trying to deal with this. I have SARS or something totally kicking my *** (Ron and Jeff have heard my voice), and now I find out about this. My best half, the person I love with everything I have, the girl that knows more about me than I know about me, the only girl I've wanted to marry, the only girl I've wanted to have kids with, and now here she is, sick. Possibly leaving me and this world. Being eaten apart by a silent killer. A painful killer. A ruthless killer. A -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=ing prick. If cancer was a person I'd be hunting him down and killing him, no matter the consequences. I wouldn't care. As long as it would leave her alone, I'd be happy. You don't attack just her, you attack me as well, and I have no problems fighting until the end for her.

Yet there is nothing I can do. I work with my hands. I understand everything that can be fixed with my hands. Emotional problems, I don't understand. Most body problems, I don't understand. People are afraid of the unknown, the things they don't understand. I'm terrified. I have no idea what this cancer can lead to. This internet is too -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=ing slow, and I'm too impatient, for me to do any research on this, to try to learn more and see what she's really up against. I don't even understand the battle she's having to fight. It's all over my head and I have to wait until monday to get to researching. The more I know, the more I can help.

Cancer stole my grandfather from me. I have never known anybody who has survived cancer. Due to those past experiences, my view of cancer is a signed death warrant. I realize there are millions of people who beat it all the time, but I haven't met any of them. Out of sight, out of mind. I can't see that they're living a normal life. I can't see that they're now perfectly healthy. All I can see are caskets and funerals. Black robes and limo's. Processions and flowers. Sadness, heart-ache.... and death.

I'm terrified. For her and for me. I wish this was just a nightmare. But no, it's reality, and I have to find a way to cope with it. I have no choice in the matter. My opinions don't count. There is nothing I can do to change the verdict. I'm hopeless, and I'm useless. I'm lost.

Darkness is deaths ignorance, and the Devils time.
'96 Grand Cherokee Laredo
'93 Taurus SHO
'77 Corvette L-48
'74 Land Cruiser FJ40
whitevette is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 22 Old 03-19-2004, 11:46 PM
_(o)IIII(o)_'s Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: 30*N, 85*W
Posts: 106
what are her immediate plans for her health. I know you just found out, but when you talk to her again, (sunday, you said?), see what plans she is making in order to beat this thing.
Keep us posted
_(o)IIII(o)_ is offline  
post #3 of 22 Old 03-20-2004, 01:06 AM
Web Wheeler
PrfctAggression's Avatar
2004 TJ Wrangler 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Londonderry, NH
Posts: 1,158
This may sound stupid, but it isn't the end. There is hope. She is young and strong, and there's a very good chance she'll beat it. Make the best of the time you have together, and keep the faith.
PrfctAggression is offline  
post #4 of 22 Old 03-21-2004, 06:52 PM
Registered User
grandgirl's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: texas
Posts: 245
I'm very sorry to hear about your bad news. I was introduced to cancer at a young age. First lung cancer took my grandfather on my mom's side, then a few years later skin cancer took my grandfather on my father's side. I've been meaning to talk to my mom for you, she's an R.N. for Labor and Delivery so she knows all about cervical cancer and could provide alot of information. Everything I've ever heard on it is that it's not that hard to get rid of and the percentage of fatality is low. Of course depending on when it is caught. She may have to go through surgery but it's not too scary and the recovery rates are very high. I just hope that she has a good Doctor that's helping her and knows his stuff. I'll be thinking about her and hoping everything works out.
grandgirl is offline  
post #5 of 22 Old 03-21-2004, 07:03 PM
Registered User
ctavel's Avatar
1997 TJ Wrangler 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 1,658
I don't even know how to convey my condolances, but you just give us a holler if you need anything. Please, keep your spirits high and your head up. I'll be thinking about both of yall.

ctavel is offline  
post #6 of 22 Old 03-21-2004, 08:10 PM
Registered User
utrocket's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Leesburg, VA
Posts: 54
I am very sorry for your news. Keep your head up and be strong, you need to be stronger than her to keep her fighting strong! I wish you the best of luck, I've been there too. Prayers will be sent up for you(and her)! You can always vent here to clear your mind.
utrocket is offline  
post #7 of 22 Old 03-22-2004, 12:40 AM
Registered User
Quan's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: duhville
Posts: 1,098
hey vette, just got back in town and im very sorry to hear about this. All I can say is DO NOT give up hope, and how as much strength as you can for her sake. She has been dealing with this but it IS still hard for her. If you fall apart, it will be harder on her. And she does need your support. Learn as much as you can about this, I'm sure she can tell you a lot because im sure shes done her homework.

I've lost 2 grandmothers to cancer, but my mother along with 2 of her sisters have survived cancer. Another of her sisters is fighting cancer right now and absolutely kicking its ***. So DO NOT give up hope. Be strong, for yourself and for her. It is NOT the end, and don't treat it that way. Live life normally, but just make more time to be with her because she will need you now more than ever. Find out what treatment she is getting and see what doctors have said. This might bring a little bit of comfort to you knowing what is and can be done for her. Keep us posted if you feel like sharing, but most importantly... stay strong and don't give up hope. Best wishes!


There comes a time... In every mans life, when decisions... have... to be made. Whether to toil, to labor, or just plain piss your days away.

Green Jeep Club Member #15
My Jeep Made Me Broke Club Member #2

93 YJ I-6 w/ stuff

Keep the greasy side down
Quan is offline  
post #8 of 22 Old 03-22-2004, 09:11 PM
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: IL
Posts: 497
i know(knew-lol) a gal who had cervical cancer- i don't think it's "as bad " of a type of cancer to have as say lung cancer is- i think it's pretty controllable and easily treated/stopped...
gonzo is offline  
post #9 of 22 Old 03-23-2004, 07:07 AM
Registered User
GoTopless's Avatar
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Westminster, MD
Posts: 1,361
is she doing any kind of therapy? my exes brother had cancer and he is beating it as we speak...like the others said..do NOT lose hope...
GoTopless is offline  
post #10 of 22 Old 03-23-2004, 08:02 AM
Registered User
G17Cabbie's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 17
Okay, let's review a few things before we go planning her funeral.

1. Heredity. Is cervical cancer inherited? How many women in her family died from it?

2. How far has the disease progressed within her body?

3. Is it still just the cervix or has it spread to other organs?

4. How long has she been receiving treatment?

5. Emotion. How determined is she to beat this?

She can beat this. If she did she wouldn't be the first person to survive cancer. After you two get married you can always adopt, so if the cancer hasn't spread beyond this one organ she can have her cervix removed. I'm adopted. Store bought kids are the same as home made once you take delivery.

Ask her these 5 questions. She'll know the answers (except maybe the last one) because the doctors will have discussed this with her a million times.

It won't be easy, but she's got a lot going for her. YOU are one of the things going for her, by the way.

Please keep us updated.

G17Cabbie is offline  
post #11 of 22 Old 03-23-2004, 08:27 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 221
Hey I can some what understand what you're going through. First my sister HAD cervical cancer she was lucky and caught it early. She had an in-out-patient surgery and she was done with it. She wouldn't have known though if she wasn't pregnant. Like I said before I know what you are going through with the cancer ordeal. My aunt Fran has a rare skin disease that caused cancer to spread all throughout her body and has less than a year to live. My uncle Johny has colon cancer which has spread to his leg and now has 4 small tumors in his brain, they give him 1-2 tops. It used to be 4 years before they found the tumors in his brain. I have another uncle Butch with cancer can't recall what type but he also has an infection in his body that they can't diagnose and has been. My aunt and uncle Johny were both taken to the same hospital last night with complications due to their diseases. It's not fun or easy to deal with, just do your best to support her right now. I have to go in April to get a colon occupy since my family is high risk. Good luck. I know this has been asked before but what stage is she at? If you don't mind me asking.

Green Jeep Club Member #61
Maryland Jeep Club Member #3
'95 Green YJ Rio Grande
4 Cyl, Auto, Akimoto Funnel Ram Air Intake, BORLA Exhaust, 2" Shackle Lift, 30" Futura Enforcer's M/T on Outlaw II's, Bestop Soft Top, Slider Half Windows, SS Step Bars, Xenon Extended Flares.
RIOGRANDE is offline  
post #12 of 22 Old 03-23-2004, 11:05 AM
Draft Line
XJ99's Avatar
2006 XK Commander 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 12,142
Here check out this web site:


Check out the Cancer Survivors section. (it's huge)

It seems most of the women had to get a hysterectomy to beat it.

Hope everything works out for the best...........

When we do right, no one remembers. When we do wrong, no one forgets.
XJ99 is offline  
post #13 of 22 Old 03-23-2004, 11:34 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 19
i know a girl that isnt even 21 yet and she has cervical cancer. but its not something you have to give up on already. most young people beat cancer, no matter what form it is. it is not a bad form of cancer as someone has already stated it is very treatable. just dont get depressed about it. just have fun with her, anyway you can.

95 4x4 grand cheeroke
5.2 v8 All Time 4x4

86 mr2 aero package
954x4zj is offline  
post #14 of 22 Old 03-25-2004, 08:46 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 221
Bad news my uncle Johny has 2 weeks to live. How do you(meaning my uncle) come to grips with something like that. They are sending him home from the hospital on Monday they said there is nothing they can do for him now. It's just so sad to hear this news. He is engaged and has 4 kids ranging in age of his about one year old daughter to 18 yr old daughter.

Green Jeep Club Member #61
Maryland Jeep Club Member #3
'95 Green YJ Rio Grande
4 Cyl, Auto, Akimoto Funnel Ram Air Intake, BORLA Exhaust, 2" Shackle Lift, 30" Futura Enforcer's M/T on Outlaw II's, Bestop Soft Top, Slider Half Windows, SS Step Bars, Xenon Extended Flares.
RIOGRANDE is offline  
post #15 of 22 Old 03-25-2004, 08:59 AM
Registered User
GoTopless's Avatar
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Westminster, MD
Posts: 1,361
i just learned that a guy i was freinds with in HS was in the army and and he got hit by something and now he is blind in one eye and he may not live….now I know why they call it march madness……i HATE MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GoTopless is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the JeepForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid e-mail address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome