How I spent the first day of 2007

[Grape Ape]

12:00 I am in the kitchen doing paperwork for work.
12:01 I wake up my wife and wish her a Happy New Year.
2:30 go to bed.

8:30 get up and bang around the house
11:30 Decide to go out and get car ready for my daughter to take her drivers test wednesday (PS she passed, hide). The car has been parked under a tree for 6+months. I decide to take it to the carwash (it is nice and warm). Car starts right up and off I go to the car wash.

11:45ish arrive at car wash and start washing car
11:50ish Get done washing car (hey it is a Geo Metro $2.00 and it is pressure soaped, foam brushed, and rinsed) LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!

11:51ish Get in car to leave, it won't start. I check the battery cables and they are seriously corroded. No problem I have new ones in my toolbox at the house. I call my wife. tell her the following.

Me: Bring the company pickup to the carwash, stop at the jeep and grab the jumper cables.

Her: Why the Besco pickup?

Me: The YJ has a flat tire, the jeepsters battery is dead, my tools and new battery cable ends are in the box on the truck and it is easier to grab the jumper cables than to transfer toolbox and extras to your car.

Her: OK

12:15 She shows up at the carwash. I change out cable ends car doesn't start. Out come the jumper cables. Car starts. I put cables in back of truck. Put tools in bed mounted tool box and close tool box. (Note: tool box is locked.) Car dies. I do some checking and find that alternator belt is very loose. I tell wife I am going to start the truck and hook up the cables and let the battery charge for a while. Then we can get it home. where I have tools to tighten belt etc.

12:20ish I put my Pepsi in my back pocket (16.9 oz. bottle) and climb in truck to start it. Bottle catches and rips the back of my pants, from the top of my left rear pocket to the back of my knee. (DAMN IT THEY ARE NEWER PANTS, MOFO, S.O.B.) Keys are not in my hand so I assume they are in my pocket. I get back out of truck.

12:25is after looking everywhere and showing my underwear to everyone at the carwash I determine the keys are locked in the toolbox (MOFO, S.O.B., S.O.B., MOFO ETC.........)

Now for the fun part. The spare set of keys are with my buddy Ed in Nicklesville VA over 1 hour away. I call him and he agrees to come down to unlock the toolbox for me.

1:00ish I have to pee, I go to the pizza joint next to the carwash and take a piss. Yep; with ripped pants. Overhear little kid, "mom why are his pants ripped" I keep my mouth shut take a piss and go back to carwash. My wife finds humor in all of this.

1:40ish I have to pee again, See 1:00 minus little kids comments. double wifes humor.

2:20 ish Ed and his wife show up she laughs while he opens toolbox. My wife, Ed and his wife all find humor in my fat *** hanging out in the wind. Thank god I had a clean set of under wear on.

2:21 Yep that is where the keys were in the toolbox. Start truck, charge car for few minutes. Start car and wife races home. Parks in puddle car dies. **** it I am going to work on it anyway.

2:25 Go to find socket set and find that my father-in-law has them he had to work on his Geo during the week while I was gone. No problem He lives up the road I will call and make sure he is there and get them. No answer. Decide it is close he may be outside so I drive up there. No one home. Tools not there, must be in his car. (stomp and kick).

2:45ish Get back to house and believe it or not I scrounge up the tools I need to tighten the belt. Spend another hour going over everything. Car is complete, and ready for driver's test. WOOHOOOO!!

4:00ish go to house throw tore pants away, take shower. Get out of shower and get dressed, Father-in-law shows up to drop tools back off at garage.

7:00 head down to Greenville SC for work.

Jan. 2, 2007

4:50 pm Got off work and call wife to visit and find out that headlights are messed up and aimed into space. Plus the extra driving lights that were added a while back have quit working, so my daughter, and niece will be taking tests in our newer car. Oh and I get to work on the cars this weekend.

Before anyone asks. No there were no pictures of me kneeling in puddle, with the *** ripped out of my pants working on a purple Geo metro, sorry, maybe next time.

[camjeep3]

thank you that was verry entertaining. lol
no i am sorry

[famicom21]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha




new smilies! yay!!!!

[Vertical Norm]

hahahahahhaa
what a wretched day.

[Wolfman01]

Ahh, sounds like one of those days where you should have simply stayed in bed.

[Nuthin]

I, for one, Will be ETERNALLY grateful that the wife did not snap pics for us. (That'd be grounds for divorce in TN, wouldn't it?)

Other than that, wow... what a sucky day for you.

Thanks for making me blow soda-pop out of my nose onto the keyboard, btw.