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Funny Movie Quotes

4K views 89 replies 69 participants last post by  jeepster425 
#1 ·
Thought this might be entertaining. Everyone post up what you think is the funniest movie quote.

My quote from Step Brothers:

dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to poop with the door open, we talk about getting "some", we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked.


"some" to keep things PG and family oriented

Lets here what you think is funny....
 
#10 ·
You can derelict my balls, capi-tan. Zoolander

Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted. Along came polly
 
#13 ·
Could you imagine special virgin dorms? It'd eventually be a **** fest. I wanna be there when it happens
 
#18 ·
Jimmie: Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead ****** Storage?
Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead ******s ain't my ****ing business, that's why!
 
#22 ·
lol great movie.

Rocco: ****in'- What the ****in'. ****. Who the **** ****ed this ****ing... How did you two ****ing ****s...
[shouts]
Rocco: ****!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
 
#24 ·
A few from The Departed:

Ellerby: Go **** yourself.
Dignam: I'm tired from ****ing your wife.
Ellerby: How is your mother?
Dignam: Good, she's tired from ****ing my father.


Frank Costello: Sweetheart, you're giving me a hard-on.
Gwen: Are you sure it's me? Not all that talk about whiffing and crawling up *****?

Not really funny, but one of my all time favorites is "Right turn Clyde"
 
#27 ·
as stated before

"lawrence? only ******s and sailors are named lawrence!"

"Holy dog ****. Texas? Only steers and *****s come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Did your parents have any children that lived?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'll bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I don't know but I been told...
Marines: I don't know but I been told...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Eskimo ***** is mighty cold.
Marines: Eskimo ***** is mighty cold.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: MMM, good...
Marines: MMM, good...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tastes good...
Marines: Tastes Good...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Feels Good.
Marines: Feels good.

my baseball team sings this when we run^^

"is that you John Wayne? is this me?'

My absolute favorite movie of all time
 
#29 ·
"Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then."
 
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