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Unread 03-06-2011, 06:32 PM   #16
ExpressoNate
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Playing her side here, dont hate, just trying to understand.
Why is she staying at your place?
How clean is your and your brothers rooms?
Do you have company over often?
Is she leaving food out, or just her stuff?
Is she over packed for a 3 night stay?

Reason I'm asking is because if you dont have a room, yeah, there's bags of her stuff, and it will not be particularly neat appearing. If she cant pack, well, that sucks but oh well. If your not using the living room, well, it's kinda her room for now. As long as she picked up after she left I'd be "ok" with it.

Other personality traits bugging you that bad? My sister's bipolar, gender confused, fat, discusting, spent 120k on a degree that wont get a job, cannot manage her life, and cannot handle anything herself. I can stand her for about 2 days before I start spending time somewhere else...

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Unread 03-06-2011, 06:44 PM   #17
SLADE
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I rarely talk to my youngest brother. Hes 28 now, and still uses our parents. He has never been responsible for his own actions (allways has a story why he is the victom). We have been in multiple full blown fights.

Multiple DUI's (never his fault)
Stole $5k from a dealer and then borrowed money from our parrents to pay his bills.
Ran off many of his friends.

I have no hard feeling not talking to him.
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Unread 03-06-2011, 06:50 PM   #18
Silverton34
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Mt older brother is 50 and never made a good decision in his life. I loaned him $4,000 two years ago, have not heard from him since. Best $4k I ever spent.
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Unread 03-06-2011, 06:55 PM   #19
Marconis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExpressoNate View Post
Playing her side here, dont hate, just trying to understand.
Why is she staying at your place?
How clean is your and your brothers rooms?
Do you have company over often?
Is she leaving food out, or just her stuff?
Is she over packed for a 3 night stay?

Reason I'm asking is because if you dont have a room, yeah, there's bags of her stuff, and it will not be particularly neat appearing. If she cant pack, well, that sucks but oh well. If your not using the living room, well, it's kinda her room for now. As long as she picked up after she left I'd be "ok" with it.

Other personality traits bugging you that bad? My sister's bipolar, gender confused, fat, discusting, spent 120k on a degree that wont get a job, cannot manage her life, and cannot handle anything herself. I can stand her for about 2 days before I start spending time somewhere else...
Staying here because its convenient for her when she's too lazy to drive all the way back to Long Island from NYC.

My room is spotless, as is the rest of our apartment.

No, rarely have company over.

No food, just her stuff. She has never cleaned a dish whenever she comes here, and that pisses me off. She makes eggs and leaves the spatula and pan dirty.

Yes, severely overpacked.

In the bathroom she leaves her hair iron out, along with hair in the drain, and her shampoos and everything out of a bag. She lets water build on the corner of the counter (there's a little dip) and when it dries up it turns brown (makes a mess when she washes her face). She also removes her makeup with my white towels, and I am sick of having black/brown crap all over them. I have told her to bring her own towel and I've gotten yelled at.

We do use the living room. My fish tank is in there, as well as my television. It's not a bedroom. After I told her to clean her **** she packed and left and didn't say goodbye. Whatever.
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Unread 03-06-2011, 06:59 PM   #20
ExpressoNate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silverton34 View Post
Mt older brother is 50 and never made a good decision in his life. I loaned him $4,000 two years ago, have not heard from him since. Best $4k I ever spent.
Devide by 4 and take away some zero's, and thats what I will loan someone and not expect back. It's simple. I give you $100 and you repay me, or, I just paid you $100 to never borrow anything of mine ever again.

Having said that, I loaned a guy $150ish, and let him store a vehicle on my moms property for 2 months..... 2 years later, I give him a date to pay up. Didnt happen, cut the steering wheel off, vice gripped the column, and flat towed it to the scrap yard. ****er sent me a message on facebook a few weeks ago, saying welcome back. I said you havnet talked to me in 3 years, ****ed me out of $150, and know I've been back for 3 months and you decide to talk to me now?

He didnt reply. I'm ok with that.
~Nate
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Unread 03-06-2011, 07:02 PM   #21
ExpressoNate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marconis View Post
Staying here because its convenient for her when she's too lazy to drive all the way back to Long Island from NYC.

My room is spotless, as is the rest of our apartment.

No, rarely have company over.

No food, just her stuff. She has never cleaned a dish whenever she comes here, and that pisses me off. She makes eggs and leaves the spatula and pan dirty.

Yes, severely overpacked.

In the bathroom she leaves her hair iron out, along with hair in the drain, and her shampoos and everything out of a bag. She lets water build on the corner of the counter (there's a little dip) and when it dries up it turns brown (makes a mess when she washes her face). She also removes her makeup with my white towels, and I am sick of having black/brown crap all over them. I have told her to bring her own towel and I've gotten yelled at.

We do use the living room. My fish tank is in there, as well as my television. It's not a bedroom. After I told her to clean her **** she packed and left and didn't say goodbye. Whatever.
Thats the beauty of it being your apartment. Talk to your brother, and if you agree she's not welcome, then she's not welcome anymore.

Sounds like a ton of anger from your side, not getting the other side of it, but I kinda get it.

Family issues suck!
~Nate
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Unread 03-06-2011, 07:41 PM   #22
BondoNutz
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UHG, I feel for anyone who has probs with siblings.
I despise my older sister, she made my life a living hell when I was a kid. She told Mom everything and made stuff up so she could watch me get my *** beat and grounded. As I got older we got along decently untill she got to a point in her life that compromised her existance, drugs and booze were taking control. Well, she lost her house, new car all to depedendacy and was in denial the whole time. She was evicted from rentals dozens of times and moved in with friend after friend and always got kicked out. She took advantage of our parents over and over and made promise after promise to get help but never did. She was misrable(understandable) but still in denial, she became combative and had a answer for everything except how to help herself or keep a job. She dissapeared for a couple years and showed up one day at my house. She literally walked right in and scared the hell out of my wife and started yelling about what's owed to her after our parents passed. I told her to settle down and respect me and my wife in our home or leave. She left and haven't seen or heard fom her since, that was 6+ yrs ago. I wonder if she's alive but I dont care weither she is or not.

My older brother and I see eye to eye on this and share the same feelings towards her.

Last edited by BondoNutz; 03-07-2011 at 08:59 AM..
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Unread 03-06-2011, 09:24 PM   #23
Boreal
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Man, I must have lucked out in the sibling department. I have 6 and while we had our usual scrapes when we were kids, now that we're all adults we all get along great. All of their spouses are pretty cool too. Family get-togethers are probably boring compared to all of you guys'
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Unread 03-06-2011, 09:28 PM   #24
Louie4
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Sisters seem to be the sore point and I'm no different. My younger sister is about to be 25 and has a 4 year old that she doesn't want to raise. She likes to act like mommy around her friends to show she cares but spending time with him is a chore for her. Constantly yelling at him for no reason. On top of that his father is a dead beat, crack head who's in and out of jail for panhandling and drugs. Luckily he's never going to see him again because if he does he won't be breathing and my dad will be in jail. Anyway she is a constant drain on my folks who let her live at the house and have helped her financially and pay for school when she attends. She always hangs around stoner losers who don't do anything with their lives. I despise the thought of what my nephew has been exposed to and what he will remember. Her mentality is that nothing is her fault and everything should just happen for her. She is unappreciative to my folks and cares more about her friends than her family. I was always fixing her junky cars just to help my dad out because he's pretty much blind now and can't do it himself. Heck she was given a new car from an old man she was always nice to when she worked at a gas station. Well that didn't last long because she was busted with a good bit of pot in it and it was impounded. Needless to say I don't fix her junk anymore.

I could go on and on but what's the point. The bottom line is I'm civil to her but I don't make any effort to talk and pretend like I care what's happening in her life. My blood pressure is going up just writing about it. She has a hold on my folks because they don't want her to take my nephew away. I wish my mom and dad were the main guardians then they could kick her out and tell her to grow up.

I know exactly how you feel and there isn't any rule that you have to ever speak to her again. Luckily I have two younger brothers that I get along with well.
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Unread 03-06-2011, 09:39 PM   #25
FairlanePhil
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Luckily I do ok with my siblings.
My wife has a crackhead brother we keep a loaded shotgun by the door for.
Its a tossup who will shoot him in the face 1st. if he comes knocking.
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Unread 03-06-2011, 10:24 PM   #26
notguilty411
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Wow, a lot of you guys have some really messed up family issues. I grew up as the middle child with two brothers. Even though we didn't always see eye to eye on everything my older brother and I were pretty close growing up and through high school. After I graduated I moved a few states away for college and we grew apart. Now this summer will mark the third year anniversary of the motorcycle accident that took his life.

The night before his accident I remember being pissed off at him for not paying up the measly $100 he owed me for a set of bike tires I sold him. We ended up exchanging a few hurtful words, little did I know that would be the last conversation I'd have with him. I would give up ANYTHING to have just 2 minutes with him today.

Just something for the rest of you guys to think about. Choose your words carefully, especially around those you love and care about. Life is far too short to get upset over little family annoyances, and try to make the most out of the time you have with them. Just my two cents.
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Unread 03-06-2011, 11:08 PM   #27
Rob99
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Originally Posted by notguilty411 View Post
Wow, a lot of you guys have some really messed up family issues. I grew up as the middle child with two brothers. Even though we didn't always see eye to eye on everything my older brother and I were pretty close growing up and through high school. After I graduated I moved a few states away for college and we grew apart. Now this summer will mark the third year anniversary of the motorcycle accident that took his life.

The night before his accident I remember being pissed off at him for not paying up the measly $100 he owed me for a set of bike tires I sold him. We ended up exchanging a few hurtful words, little did I know that would be the last conversation I'd have with him. I would give up ANYTHING to have just 2 minutes with him today.

Just something for the rest of you guys to think about. Choose your words carefully, especially around those you love and care about. Life is far too short to get upset over little family annoyances, and try to make the most out of the time you have with them. Just my two cents.
Sorry for your loss. No disrespect but if someone is constantly taking advantage and is constantly disrespectful, I don't think looking the other way each and every time is the answer just because they might be in an accident in the future. I agree, if it's just a small thing, but if it's a long term pattern, sometimes you just need to cut ties.
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Unread 03-07-2011, 01:09 AM   #28
CJ258
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I've been estranged from my siblings since I was 19, 52 now. A lot like Bondo's situation except they are incredible control freaks. The last straw was when they decided I shouldn't marry my wife.
They are both character assassins and have just about ruined my rep in my home town. Their stories are just as surreal and weird as the way they think, you can't believe someone would come up with stuff like that.
I've had about a dozen "knights in shining armour" throw down on me, two were local PD, since I was about 25. They all learned a hard lesson and that crap died off after 3 or 4 yrs.
The incredible part is that most people have a tabloid mentality. They don't care to hear your side or they expect an explanation in 5 minutes. I believe my business is my own and won't hold myself accountable to any of those people.
Some people are just all ate up and miserable and I hope they live to be 350 yrs. old, they deserve it, lol !
It's tough. They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer but what happens with when you have kooks for siblings.
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Unread 03-07-2011, 02:55 AM   #29
igrok
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wow. I have 4 brothers and 4 sisters, my oldest brother died 10 years ago. I fought with them growing up and sometimes now I still fight with them, but the bottom line is this: Blood is thicker than water. I don't have to like 'em, but I will always love them.
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Unread 03-07-2011, 03:42 AM   #30
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damn i feel even more lucky than i already did, i don't know how my step brother feels about me... but i can sense of tension in him when he's around me sometimes. but he's been around since the beginning of time. i don't even remember meeting him for the first time actually, all i can remember is him just being there. to me my step brother is my blood brother, he always will be even though our parents are now separated.

my older sister is my best friend, im actually at her place right now. me and my sister always had our typical "younger sibling/older sibling" moments when we were younger but now that i've grown up as well we don't really have those moments anymore but every once in a while i do **** to piss her off for old times sake. i tortured her enough when i was a kid, and vice versa.

when all three of us get together which is extremely rare these days its like going back in time almost. both my brother and my sister know how i feel about them, they know damn well im thankful to have them as siblings cause without them i wouldn't be where i am today.
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