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Unread 12-18-2013, 03:26 PM   #16
brouwmat
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Put a ring on her finger already. Then it would be appropriate.

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Unread 12-18-2013, 03:32 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captainauti View Post
if you dont need the money, why would you ask for it?

ambugirl... ill dig up my old law books. i have them somewhere. there are some stupid RI laws. would blow your mind.
heres another, its illegal to fly the jolly roger flag from any vessel at sea.
Oh I know lol. You should pull some Va laws, you will laugh til it hurts
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Unread 12-18-2013, 03:35 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
I don't NEED the money...I just think it would be a nice gesture on her part to offer me some....I am not the type to ask for anything, I want her to do it from her heart.

Whenever she has been in a snag...I have always offered a helping hand.
So wait a min. She has had some 'snags' in the past and since you 'helped her' then , you want money now. If she hit snags, maybe its wise for her to save it.
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WTF is Clockspring??? my Jeep has digital clock
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Unread 12-18-2013, 03:46 PM   #19
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Dude. Get married. Get a joint bank account. Do a monthly budget.

At that point, once you two agree on everything money wise, and once you are telling every single dollar that enters your household where to go, then you can see how much of that bonus is left as surplus in your budget, and then you will get to discuss how much of it you can both use for what, and then how much of that will be "play" or "blow" money. Is there any debt owed by either one of you? If so, I'd say I know where that christmas bonus should go.....but thats just me.

Until you two have the same budget, it's her money. Once you have a married budget, then it's no longer hers, and its not yours, but its "ours", which means she still gets to be part of the decision of where every dollar goes, until it gets into YOUR "blow money".

At this point, you already feel that you are deserving of money that she sees as hers (or so you tell us, otherwise she'd split it 50/50 with you), which doesn't bode well for the financial part of this relationship, from either side.
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Unread 12-18-2013, 03:46 PM   #20
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Lol... This is spiraling down into a bad area!
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Unread 12-18-2013, 04:41 PM   #21
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the Dr. hath spoken.


and text me your address dr.
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Unread 12-18-2013, 05:12 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by brouwmat View Post
Put a ring on her finger already. Then it would be appropriate.

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We are engaged so she already has a ring on it. I wasnt trying to get into life lesson debates or anything. I guess i just look at it from my POV. If I were to get a bonus, i would be more than willing to offer some out.
But in the end, its her bonus, not mine.
I get it
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Unread 12-18-2013, 05:19 PM   #23
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My wife and I have said that we get to keep bonuses to ourselves so we never feel guilty about splurging for something. It sucks now though because I never get bonuses anymore and my wife gets at least four a year but it's her money that she has worked hard for throughout the quarter/year. When we made the agreement my company gave a profit share bonus but they no longer do. Oh well. If your girlfriend wants to keep that all for herself, I see no harm in it. Just be happy for her.

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Unread 12-18-2013, 06:00 PM   #24
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The lord has spoken in this thread. Response are no longer needed on the subject.
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Unread 12-18-2013, 06:06 PM   #25
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NO, I wouldn't ask. But only you know the dynamics of your relationship with your wife.

This may be a sign that you and your wife to be need to sit down and talk about finances overall. Not just the bonus, but how all the finances are handled.

Or it may be a sign you need to look for a better paying job, or at least one that gives bonuses.
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Unread 12-18-2013, 08:29 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeHoncho88 View Post
NO, I wouldn't ask. But only you know the dynamics of your relationship with your wife.

This may be a sign that you and your wife to be need to sit down and talk about finances overall. Not just the bonus, but how all the finances are handled.

Or it may be a sign you need to look for a better paying job, or at least one that gives bonuses.
Yep this.
You may also want to talk about how it is going to go when you get married.
She may want to keep separate accounts.
Really nothing wrong with it.
I know quite a few married couples that have separate accounts and each pay different bills.
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Unread 12-19-2013, 07:25 AM   #27
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Well, we talked about it last night. I told her that I felt that it would be a nice gesture on her part to atleast offer me some of it to help with Christmas presents or whatever. I didn't get into a big shpill or anything, I just mentioned it her and told her that I have always considered anything that was mine to be hers and so on and so forth.
There have been times in our relationship where she has needed money to help out with things and I have always offered and helped and I told her that it would be nice for the same to be offered to me. thats it.
I told her that I didn't even care about the money, I just wanted the gesture. To feel that she would do the same for me as I would for her. thats all.
She understood and I told her that I didn't want any of it, all I wanted was to know that she thought of me.
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Unread 12-19-2013, 07:36 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88
Well, we talked about it last night. I told her that I felt that it would be a nice gesture on her part to atleast offer me some of it to help with Christmas presents or whatever. I didn't get into a big shpill or anything, I just mentioned it her and told her that I have always considered anything that was mine to be hers and so on and so forth. There have been times in our relationship where she has needed money to help out with things and I have always offered and helped and I told her that it would be nice for the same to be offered to me. thats it. I told her that I didn't even care about the money, I just wanted the gesture. To feel that she would do the same for me as I would for her. thats all. She understood and I told her that I didn't want any of it, all I wanted was to know that she thought of me.
After 8 years, don't you think she would already be thinking of you?
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Unread 12-19-2013, 07:46 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Marneaus View Post
Dude. Get married. Get a joint bank account. Do a monthly budget.

At that point, once you two agree on everything money wise, and once you are telling every single dollar that enters your household where to go, then you can see how much of that bonus is left as surplus in your budget, and then you will get to discuss how much of it you can both use for what, and then how much of that will be "play" or "blow" money. Is there any debt owed by either one of you? If so, I'd say I know where that christmas bonus should go.....but thats just me.

Until you two have the same budget, it's her money. Once you have a married budget, then it's no longer hers, and its not yours, but its "ours", which means she still gets to be part of the decision of where every dollar goes, until it gets into YOUR "blow money".

At this point, you already feel that you are deserving of money that she sees as hers (or so you tell us, otherwise she'd split it 50/50 with you), which doesn't bode well for the financial part of this relationship, from either side.
This.
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Unread 12-19-2013, 07:52 AM   #30
AmbuGrl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
it would be a nice gesture on her part to atleast offer me some of it to help with Christmas presents or whatever
So wait a min, you want her to help pay for Christmas gifts? Yet at the same time, you mentioned that she has needed financial help at some points in the past... she should save the money. Christmas is 1 day a year. you have 364 days to save for it and buy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
I told her that I didn't even care about the money, I just wanted the gesture
You clearly do care about the money.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
all I wanted was to know that she thought of me
If you associate money with her thinking of you, you are sadly on the wrong track. When you start letting money interfere with your relationship and feelings, that causes problems.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MIjeep86 View Post
After 8 years, don't you think she would already be thinking of you?
This.
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DD (Mine) Sold - 98 XJ Moss Green
(His) - 92 YJ December 2013 YJOTM

Sold - 95 ZJ
Sold - 97 XJ Red
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Quote:
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WTF is Clockspring??? my Jeep has digital clock
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