Christmas Bonuses/Asking for some - JeepForum.com
Search  
Sign Up   Today's Posts
User: Pass: Remember?
Advertise Here
Jeep Home Jeep Forum Jeep Classifieds Jeep Registry JeepSpace Jeep Reviews Jeep Gallery Jeep Clubs Jeep Groups Jeep Videos Jeep Events Jeep Articles
Go Back JeepForum.com > General > General Discussion > Christmas Bonuses/Asking for some

Black Friday Sale - Deep Discounts from ExtremeTerrain.com6th Annual, Beat Your Wife to the Credit Card Sale!FS: Wrangler RGB Multicolor Fog Light LEDs: Awesome Effect

Reply
Unread 12-18-2013, 01:47 PM   #1
Cherokeekid88
Registered User
1997 XJ Cherokee 
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: High Point, North Carolina
Posts: 1,936
Christmas Bonuses/Asking for some

So my fiance and I have been together for nearly 8 years, getting married next October. We have sperate bank accounts (mainly because I work for a bank and have to have my paycheck go into my account and she has an account with a very good credit union and doesn't want to lose that account) Now, I DO NOT get a bonus at Christmas, but she does. usually a good one. I have never asked for any of it and I let her do with it whatever she wants....but after thinking about it this year....I am wondering if I should ask for a small piece of it....She is not a selfish person by any means, but I know that she likes to save money and not splurge on herself...any of you guys deal with this? A co worker of mine was telling me about his wife getting a bonus and she gave him a couple hundred bucks for anything he wanted....
Trying to figure out if I should ask for some of it or just leave it alone and let her just have it and me just sit back?

__________________
97 XJ 4.0 Auto D30/29 Sp. 8.25. Yukon 4.10's
4.5" IRO Long Arm Kit - 33x12.50x15's
HD Offroad Engineering Shackle Relocation Brackets
Bilstein 5100's - Magnaflow Exhaust.
Cherokeekid88 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 01:58 PM   #2
TSGR
Registered User
2000 WJ 
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ephrata, PA
Posts: 62
You're not married yet. I wouldn't ask.
TSGR is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 02:19 PM   #3
coonash
Senior Member
 
coonash's Avatar
1969 FSJ Wagoneer 
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 658
Quote:
Originally Posted by TSGR View Post
You're not married yet. I wouldn't ask.
^ x 11 billion
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5-90
This is an online forum, and the written word is the primary method of communication. If you make an effort to communicate clearly, people will be willing to communicate in return. If you don't make an effort, I don't see why I should - write like an idiot, and I'm going to think you're an idiot, that's just how things work.
USN Jeep Club Number 41
coonash is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 02:57 PM   #4
Cherokeekid88
Registered User
1997 XJ Cherokee 
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: High Point, North Carolina
Posts: 1,936
I mean I honestly feel that we are married already.....I refer to her as my wife and she refers to me as her husband already.....We have a house together, I really don't want to say anything, I want her to volunteer to offer me some of it, but to be honest, I dont think she will. If I got a bonus, I would not hesitate to offer to give her some or buy her something of her choice...
__________________
97 XJ 4.0 Auto D30/29 Sp. 8.25. Yukon 4.10's
4.5" IRO Long Arm Kit - 33x12.50x15's
HD Offroad Engineering Shackle Relocation Brackets
Bilstein 5100's - Magnaflow Exhaust.
Cherokeekid88 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 02:57 PM   #5
captainauti
Web Wheeler
 
captainauti's Avatar
1995 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: One Particular Harbor/ Ocean State, RI
Posts: 1,045
ya...its her bonus, not yours. if she wants to share, she will. when you are married, its still hers. remember, whats hers is hers and whats yours is hers. but at least when you are married, you can ask to use some of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
I mean I honestly feel that we are married already.....I refer to her as my wife and she refers to me as her husband already.....We have a house together, I really don't want to say anything, I want her to volunteer to offer me some of it, but to be honest, I dont think she will. If I got a bonus, I would not hesitate to offer to give her some or buy her something of her choice...
im not sure about where you are, but here in RI, refer to each other once in public, or use each others last name on a bill, you are now legally married by common law. KInd of nuts.
__________________
_______________________
Capt. Nate
aka Scallywag
_______________________
95 yj 4.3 vortec csfi, 4l60e/np231cj (scallywag)
1973 Wagoneer (honey wagon)
2013 Escape titanium 4wd ecoboost
2011 F150 4x4 5.0 Coyote SVT Supercrew
2008 E450 v10 Jayco Greyhawk 28 (tildah)

_______________________

captainauti is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 02:58 PM   #6
dayriesw
Web Wheeler
 
dayriesw's Avatar
2005 LJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 5,391
Hell no, dont ask. Would you give her some if you got a bonus? And would you give her some if she asked for a piece of your bonus?
__________________
Impact Orange LJ - DD...sitting low, flat bottomed, fully armored and locked on 37s - the build: http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/f22/i...ge-lj-1173119/

Jeep-Owner.com
LouisianaOffroad.com
dayriesw is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:05 PM   #7
Cherokeekid88
Registered User
1997 XJ Cherokee 
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: High Point, North Carolina
Posts: 1,936
Quote:
Originally Posted by dayriesw View Post
Hell no, dont ask. Would you give her some if you got a bonus? And would you give her some if she asked for a piece of your bonus?
Absolutely. no questions asked.
__________________
97 XJ 4.0 Auto D30/29 Sp. 8.25. Yukon 4.10's
4.5" IRO Long Arm Kit - 33x12.50x15's
HD Offroad Engineering Shackle Relocation Brackets
Bilstein 5100's - Magnaflow Exhaust.
Cherokeekid88 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:14 PM   #8
DJs99TJ
Registered User
1999 TJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 339
I kinda agree w the majority... Don't ask for it - period - ever. She worked for it, it's hers to share. BUT what you could do is "mention" several times that you really wanted or were looking forward to $$$$... Whatever it is, and hope she voluntarily gets it for you.
I personally wouldn't feel comfortable asking myself, especially depending on what it was for... And like the OP, I wouldn't have any issues giving her any of it. I just wouldn't ask.
DJs99TJ is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:17 PM   #9
AmbuGrl
Web Wheeler
 
AmbuGrl's Avatar
1998 XJ Cherokee 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Virginia Beach, Va
Posts: 2,409
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainauti View Post
im not sure about where you are, but here in RI, refer to each other once in public, or use each others last name on a bill, you are now legally married by common law. KInd of nuts.
No really what the RI laws says lol.

NC never has permitted common law marriages..

Either way, its hers. Married or not, if she choses to share then good on her, if not then thats her choice. ( I would say the same thing if the situation was flipped.)
__________________
- HM1(SW/AW)Ret USN Dec 23,1992 to Dec 31, 2012

I drive an XJ, and all of my power windows work :)



2000 Pontiac WS6 - DD
DD (Mine) Sold - 98 XJ Moss Green
(His) - 92 YJ December 2013 YJOTM

Sold - 95 ZJ
Sold - 97 XJ Red
Sold - 98 XJ


USN Jeep Club Hull #36
NAXJA #3700

Quote:
Originally Posted by RacerX View Post
WTF is Clockspring??? my Jeep has digital clock
AmbuGrl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:19 PM   #10
Balvar24
Registered User
1979 CJ7 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rock Ridge
Posts: 5,155
Are you hoping she'll cancel the wedding?

If you ask her for it, make sure to follow it up with a request for a "sammich" and let us know how it goes.
__________________
"Work hard, rock hard, eat hard, sleep hard, grow big, wear glasses if you need 'em."
Balvar24 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:38 PM   #11
Dngrs1
Registered User
1979 CJ7 
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mohave Valley,AZ
Posts: 809
You've been together for nearly 8 yrs. and you come to JF to ask if you should ask? I can see where this marriage is going to end up.
__________________
I would rather have a tool I don't need, than need a tool I don't have.
Dngrs1 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:47 PM   #12
Cooneys08JK
Senior Member
 
Cooneys08JK's Avatar
2008 JK Wrangler 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Martha's Vineyard, MA
Posts: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
Absolutely. no questions asked.
You say this now, but get $500 put in front of you. $500 you worked the whole year to earn. Imagine all the Jeep parts you are going to by with it and then having to give half of it to your G/F because she ASKED for it??

What about when she comes home with new boots she bought with your money? You are telling me you wouldn't be slightly annoyed?? Not even a bit??

If not, then kudos to you sir. Wife or not Id be a little pissed...

Maybe you will get a nicer gift this year with the holidays right around the corner.

Don't ask for some man you will only look like an idiot, unless you really really really really really need it. REAALLLLLLYYYYYYYY need it.
__________________
'08 Black 2door JK- DD

'99 Chilli Pepper XJ- Wheeler- BFG ATs, 2 " BB + bolt on stuff
Cooneys08JK is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 03:54 PM   #13
Cherokeekid88
Registered User
1997 XJ Cherokee 
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: High Point, North Carolina
Posts: 1,936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dngrs1 View Post
You've been together for nearly 8 yrs. and you come to JF to ask if you should ask? I can see where this marriage is going to end up.
this is the kinda stuff that really annoys me. Why is there a general discussion section if nobody needed advice about life in GENERAL?
Don't diagnos how you think my marriage is going if you don't know me or my situation.


I am a very giving person. if I got a Christmas Bonus and my wife didn't. I would feel bad and offer to pay for something, buy her something, or give her money for anything she wanted...I have no problem with that.

I don't NEED the money...I just think it would be a nice gesture on her part to offer me some....I am not the type to ask for anything, I want her to do it from her heart.

Whenever she has been in a snag...I have always offered a helping hand.
__________________
97 XJ 4.0 Auto D30/29 Sp. 8.25. Yukon 4.10's
4.5" IRO Long Arm Kit - 33x12.50x15's
HD Offroad Engineering Shackle Relocation Brackets
Bilstein 5100's - Magnaflow Exhaust.
Cherokeekid88 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 04:10 PM   #14
captainauti
Web Wheeler
 
captainauti's Avatar
1995 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: One Particular Harbor/ Ocean State, RI
Posts: 1,045
if you dont need the money, why would you ask for it?

ambugirl... ill dig up my old law books. i have them somewhere. there are some stupid RI laws. would blow your mind.
heres another, its illegal to fly the jolly roger flag from any vessel at sea.
__________________
_______________________
Capt. Nate
aka Scallywag
_______________________
95 yj 4.3 vortec csfi, 4l60e/np231cj (scallywag)
1973 Wagoneer (honey wagon)
2013 Escape titanium 4wd ecoboost
2011 F150 4x4 5.0 Coyote SVT Supercrew
2008 E450 v10 Jayco Greyhawk 28 (tildah)

_______________________

captainauti is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Unread 12-18-2013, 04:20 PM   #15
WhtJeep
Registered User
2008 WK 
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Cheyenne, WY
Posts: 614
This is a joke right? It is her ****ing money *******.
__________________
2008 WK Khaki Grand Cherokee Rocky Mountain
1995 XJ Lifted and driven straight into the ground - RIP
Quote:
Originally Posted by cresso
Quick dana 35 test: kick one of the rear tires. If the axle breaks, it's a 35
XboxGT - The Mad Med1c
WhtJeep is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the JeepForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid e-mail address for yourself.
Note: All free e-mails have been banned due to mis-use. (Yahoo, Gmail, Hotmail, etc.)
Don't have a non-free e-mail address? Click here for a solution: Manual Account Creation
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Thread Tools






Jeep, Wrangler, Cherokee, Grand Cherokee, and other models are copyrighted and trademarked to Jeep/Chrysler Corporation. JeepForum.com is not in any way associated with Jeep or the Chrysler Corp.