Christmas Bonuses/Asking for some - JeepForum.com

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post #1 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 12:47 PM Thread Starter
Cherokeekid88
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Christmas Bonuses/Asking for some

So my fiance and I have been together for nearly 8 years, getting married next October. We have sperate bank accounts (mainly because I work for a bank and have to have my paycheck go into my account and she has an account with a very good credit union and doesn't want to lose that account) Now, I DO NOT get a bonus at Christmas, but she does. usually a good one. I have never asked for any of it and I let her do with it whatever she wants....but after thinking about it this year....I am wondering if I should ask for a small piece of it....She is not a selfish person by any means, but I know that she likes to save money and not splurge on herself...any of you guys deal with this? A co worker of mine was telling me about his wife getting a bonus and she gave him a couple hundred bucks for anything he wanted....
Trying to figure out if I should ask for some of it or just leave it alone and let her just have it and me just sit back?

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post #2 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 12:58 PM
TSGR
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You're not married yet. I wouldn't ask.
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post #3 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 01:19 PM
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You're not married yet. I wouldn't ask.
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post #4 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 01:57 PM Thread Starter
Cherokeekid88
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I mean I honestly feel that we are married already.....I refer to her as my wife and she refers to me as her husband already.....We have a house together, I really don't want to say anything, I want her to volunteer to offer me some of it, but to be honest, I dont think she will. If I got a bonus, I would not hesitate to offer to give her some or buy her something of her choice...

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post #5 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 01:57 PM
captainauti
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ya...its her bonus, not yours. if she wants to share, she will. when you are married, its still hers. remember, whats hers is hers and whats yours is hers. but at least when you are married, you can ask to use some of it.

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I mean I honestly feel that we are married already.....I refer to her as my wife and she refers to me as her husband already.....We have a house together, I really don't want to say anything, I want her to volunteer to offer me some of it, but to be honest, I dont think she will. If I got a bonus, I would not hesitate to offer to give her some or buy her something of her choice...
im not sure about where you are, but here in RI, refer to each other once in public, or use each others last name on a bill, you are now legally married by common law. KInd of nuts.

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post #6 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 01:58 PM
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Hell no, dont ask. Would you give her some if you got a bonus? And would you give her some if she asked for a piece of your bonus?

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post #7 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:05 PM Thread Starter
Cherokeekid88
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Hell no, dont ask. Would you give her some if you got a bonus? And would you give her some if she asked for a piece of your bonus?
Absolutely. no questions asked.

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post #8 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:14 PM
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I kinda agree w the majority... Don't ask for it - period - ever. She worked for it, it's hers to share. BUT what you could do is "mention" several times that you really wanted or were looking forward to $$$$... Whatever it is, and hope she voluntarily gets it for you.
I personally wouldn't feel comfortable asking myself, especially depending on what it was for... And like the OP, I wouldn't have any issues giving her any of it. I just wouldn't ask.
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post #9 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by captainauti View Post
im not sure about where you are, but here in RI, refer to each other once in public, or use each others last name on a bill, you are now legally married by common law. KInd of nuts.
No really what the RI laws says lol.

NC never has permitted common law marriages..

Either way, its hers. Married or not, if she choses to share then good on her, if not then thats her choice. ( I would say the same thing if the situation was flipped.)

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post #10 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:19 PM
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Are you hoping she'll cancel the wedding?

If you ask her for it, make sure to follow it up with a request for a "sammich" and let us know how it goes.

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post #11 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:38 PM
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You've been together for nearly 8 yrs. and you come to JF to ask if you should ask? I can see where this marriage is going to end up.

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post #12 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Cherokeekid88 View Post
Absolutely. no questions asked.
You say this now, but get $500 put in front of you. $500 you worked the whole year to earn. Imagine all the Jeep parts you are going to by with it and then having to give half of it to your G/F because she ASKED for it??

What about when she comes home with new boots she bought with your money? You are telling me you wouldn't be slightly annoyed?? Not even a bit??

If not, then kudos to you sir. Wife or not Id be a little pissed...

Maybe you will get a nicer gift this year with the holidays right around the corner.

Don't ask for some man you will only look like an idiot, unless you really really really really really need it. REAALLLLLLYYYYYYYY need it.

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post #13 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 02:54 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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You've been together for nearly 8 yrs. and you come to JF to ask if you should ask? I can see where this marriage is going to end up.
this is the kinda stuff that really annoys me. Why is there a general discussion section if nobody needed advice about life in GENERAL?
Don't diagnos how you think my marriage is going if you don't know me or my situation.


I am a very giving person. if I got a Christmas Bonus and my wife didn't. I would feel bad and offer to pay for something, buy her something, or give her money for anything she wanted...I have no problem with that.

I don't NEED the money...I just think it would be a nice gesture on her part to offer me some....I am not the type to ask for anything, I want her to do it from her heart.

Whenever she has been in a snag...I have always offered a helping hand.

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post #14 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 03:10 PM
captainauti
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if you dont need the money, why would you ask for it?

ambugirl... ill dig up my old law books. i have them somewhere. there are some stupid RI laws. would blow your mind.
heres another, its illegal to fly the jolly roger flag from any vessel at sea.

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post #15 of 46 Old 12-18-2013, 03:20 PM
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This is a joke right? It is her ****ing money *******.

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