Chuck Norris invented the c-section when he round house kicked his way out of the womb.
A blind man was walking down the street and stepped on Chuck Norris foot. Chuck said "Fool! Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" Just the sound of Chucks voice brought the blind mans sight back. To bad the only thing he saw before he dies was a round house kick to the face.
There are no such things as lesbians. Just women who haven't met Chuck Norris yet.
Chuck Norris can make Justin Bieber say never.
When Chuck Norris goes outside he doesn't put on sunblock. The sun puts on Chuckblock.
Adopt your pets. Don't shop for them.