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Unread 12-06-2010, 08:16 AM   #91
vadslram
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Now here is the real joke..
Chuck Norris,Texas Ranger — For Real, This Time - TIME NewsFeed

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Unread 12-06-2010, 08:18 AM   #92
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Its all downhill from here...
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Unread 12-06-2010, 08:49 AM   #93
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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Unread 12-06-2010, 03:45 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herkload37 View Post
Here's a couple that I made up today:

1. Chuck Norris owns all CJs and only loans them out to individuals. Contrary to popular belief, CJ does not stand for Civilian Jeep. It actually stands for Chuck's Jeep. In 1987, Chuck called Detroit and said, "I have enough. They can start being Your Jeeps now." And that, kids, is how the YJ was born.

2. Chuck Norris was once flipping through a JC Whitney catalog for CJ parts. Frustrated that JC Whitney could not support his offroading needs he roundhouse kicked the catalog so hard that it became the first 4wd store.
First one is pretty witty lol
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Unread 12-06-2010, 05:11 PM   #95
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Objects in his rearvew mirror are exactly how they appear.
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Unread 12-09-2010, 06:49 AM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herkload37
Here's a couple that I made up today:

1. Chuck Norris owns all CJs and only loans them out to individuals. Contrary to popular belief, CJ does not stand for Civilian Jeep. It actually stands for Chuck's Jeep. In 1987, Chuck called Detroit and said, "I have enough. They can start being Your Jeeps now." And that, kids, is how the YJ was born.

2. Chuck Norris was once flipping through a JC Whitney catalog for CJ parts. Frustrated that JC Whitney could not support his offroading needs he roundhouse kicked the catalog so hard that it became the first 4wd store.




So would that mean that TJ's stand for Mr. T's Jeeps?
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Unread 12-09-2010, 06:57 AM   #97
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"I pity the fool!!"
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Unread 12-09-2010, 07:01 AM   #98
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Some people eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris eats lizard legs. Hence, snakes...
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Unread 12-09-2010, 07:18 AM   #99
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Mt. St.Helen exploded because Chuck Norris punched the other side of it.
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Unread 12-09-2010, 04:50 PM   #100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grtwhtbuffalo View Post
quote:





So would that mean that tj's stand for mr. T's jeeps?

lol!
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Unread 12-20-2010, 09:21 PM   #101
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Unread 12-21-2010, 08:51 AM   #102
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If you have five dollars...
And Chuck Norris has five dollars...





Chuck Norris has more money than you do.
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Unread 04-30-2011, 07:55 PM   #103
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To take care of those pesky Zombies.
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[B][I]Ash from Army of Darkness[/I][/B][QUOTE]Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?[/QUOTE]
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Unread 04-30-2011, 08:48 PM   #104
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Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
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Unread 04-30-2011, 09:22 PM   #105
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Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses...
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