The Best Chuck Norris Jokes - Page 5 -
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post #61 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 07:03 AM
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when chuck norris does push ups, he pushes the earth down
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post #62 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 12:14 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

God's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands. Now there just the islands.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky

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post #63 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 12:17 PM
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chuck norrie eats rocks and ****s lightning bolts.

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post #64 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 01:05 PM
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The moon doesn't revolve around the earth, it runs from Chuck Norris.

04 TJ- Short Bus. It's got some stuff.

Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.
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post #65 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 01:09 PM
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Chuck Norris daughter lost her virginity and he got it back.
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post #66 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 01:18 PM
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If Chuck Norris got in a fight with himself, hed win.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Sent from my Sprint HTC EVO 4G which better be real glad I didnt throw
it out the window for resetting itself while I was typing this post 10 minutes ago.
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post #67 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 01:37 PM
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Chuck Norris is what Willis is talkin 'bout

04 TJ- Short Bus. It's got some stuff.

Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.
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post #68 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 01:53 PM
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter

The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
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post #69 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 01:58 PM
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"Chuck WHO?" said Clint Eastwood.

Betcha' wish your girlfriend was as dirty as my Jeep!
Zombies hate fast food.
Hang on! This is gunna' be a thrill ride of geriatric proportion!
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post #70 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 02:16 PM
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Chuck Norris says welcome to 3 years ago.

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post #71 of 111 Old 11-01-2010, 03:36 PM
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Chuck Norris has no legs. Just two very well trained *****es.

I don't blame people for their mistakes, but I do expect they pay for them.

Ash from Army of Darkness
Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
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post #72 of 111 Old 11-02-2010, 09:43 AM Thread Starter
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Chuck Norris will never die because the reaper fears Chuck Norris

If it were easy, everyone would do it
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post #73 of 111 Old 11-02-2010, 10:15 AM
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Chuck Norris died.


Originally Posted by bradthebard
Vin's so hard core, he drinks the whole jug of STFU and then has a three hour conversation about it.
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post #74 of 111 Old 11-02-2010, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by vindicated View Post
Chuck Norris died.

He didn't die.
The Mayans predicted that he would be tired of us around December 2012 though.

Google Voice (or the number Grape calls when drunk): 845-476-8182

Originally Posted by Enzo Ferrari
"The Jeep is Americas only real sports car!"
Originally Posted by MrBlaine
"Jeeps do not make jeepers, jeepers make Jeeps."
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post #75 of 111 Old 11-02-2010, 12:03 PM
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At his funeral, he will give the eulogy

Just a traveling cat in a tall black hat riding a goat. Nothing to see here.
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