The Best Chuck Norris Jokes - Page 3 -

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post #31 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 12:44 AM
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Chuck Norris was born in a cabin that he build with his bear hands.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

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post #32 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 06:35 AM
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Chuck Norris invented every color on the color spectrum, except for pink, that was Tom Cruise.

And BTW, for those droid users out there, there is an app for this. All it does is list chuck norris jokes.

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post #33 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 07:33 PM
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Chuck Norris could hide in your underwear and you would not know he was there until he kicked you in the nuts!


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post #34 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 08:56 PM
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As a child, Chuck Norris enjoyed long walks on the beach, paticularly Iwo Jima and Normandy
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post #35 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 10:46 PM
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Originally Posted by SixZeroAlpha View Post
As a child, Chuck Norris enjoyed long walks on the beach, paticularly Iwo Jima and Normandy
this was too good to occupy one post. it needed some extra room in my post.

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post #36 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 10:55 PM
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Chuck Norris is the one who took the bite out of the apple 

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post #37 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 11:19 PM
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When Superman spun the Earth backwards to reverse time, he was surprised to find Chuck Norris waiting in the past for him to finish with his shenanigans. It was only after a stern talking-to and a graceful nod of Chuck's stately, bearded chin that he was allowed to continue saving the earth rather than receiving a roundhouse kick that would have permanently altered the space-time continuium.

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post #38 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 11:25 PM
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when Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd

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post #39 of 111 Old 10-30-2010, 11:51 PM
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Chuck Norris can rationalize Pi

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post #40 of 111 Old 10-31-2010, 02:20 AM
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you guys arent going to believe this, but i live in the same town chuck does. he has a summer home here and hes actually a really nice guy. i see him at the local bowling alley and at the high school football games once a year or so. i actually went to school with his step-daughter, kelly. never the less, the jokes are hilarious and apparently he jokes about himself all the time.

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post #41 of 111 Old 10-31-2010, 02:55 AM
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Night is not caused by the Earth's rotation. Night occurs every time that the sun pisses off Chuck Norris and hides behind the moon. Fortunately for us, their issues only last for a matter of hours.

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post #42 of 111 Old 10-31-2010, 06:59 AM
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When God said "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said "Say please".

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag you, he potato sacks you.

Chuck Norris' computer doesn't have a ctrl button, because Chuck Norris is always in control.

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post #43 of 111 Old 10-31-2010, 07:29 AM
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The mere fact that you are reading this thread is because Chuck Norris allows it........
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post #44 of 111 Old 10-31-2010, 07:31 AM
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

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post #45 of 111 Old 10-31-2010, 08:05 AM
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Chuck Norris once punched a hole in a cow just to see what was coming up the road...

Chuck Norris once scissor-kicked Angela Lansbury...

Chuck Norris would eat a homeless person if you dared him...

Chuck Norris date-raped David Bowie....

It was the sight of Chuck Norris" naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane...

Chuck Norris uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel...

Chuck Norris doesn't sip whiskey, he shoots it into his neck with a syringe...

Fight Crime...Shoot Back

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