I think what you want will determine which model you get. From what you posted, looks like a limited at least, especially if you want leather. I prefer Cloth seats, and REALLY dont like the saddle leather, so Sport it is for me with a few upgrade packages. I'm at 5 months and 7K miles, and my ONLY regret is that I have the base single disk CD player, and that regret is only because the display doesnt show song/band information for the sirius.
DCX makes it pretty easy with 3 packages that groups things. Take a look at their brochure it is brief but pretty self explanitory.
As far as engines, the Hemi is far and away more powerful than the 4.7, and better be with 100 more horespower. I drove both, and went for the 4.7. Sure it is slower than the Hemi, but it has the smooth feel and thrust of a V-8, with a proven rock solid reputation for reliability and durability. Those two things were more important to me than racing at stop lights. I have my 442 for that
I also will probably NOT tow more than 5,000 lbs with the Commander.
Gas mileage wasnt an issue for me as much as the mechanical complexity of the MDS and my wanting another 15-20 year vehicle. When it is paid off, I will keep it, hopefully for 20 years or more. My 442 just turned 21 and is still cherry, with 130K miles on it. I want that out of My Commander too, and I just felt that the MDS was too complicated for that.
It really is a preference. I'd say drive both, back to back and see what you connect with. Definately go for 4wheel Drive, and the Trailer Package though.