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post #38521 of 41863 Old 08-14-2014, 06:17 PM
gregaf3
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Damn.... nothing like moving halfway around the world then have your wife tell you the she pretty much doesn't like you anymore. Not like I can just load up the u haul and move out.

But on the plus side, if we can't work this out I have no real ties anywhere. I have family in DC, SoCal, and Tampa Bay. But I have zero intention of moving back there.

With my work I can move anywhere as long as I have good Internet. I want to be near mountains but also have a relatively low cost of living. Any ideas? I was looking at everything from Colorado to Idaho or even the PNW. I liked Vegas, but all of that drought stuff worries me. That plus I could not live the way that I like with a single income there.

Granted this is probably all a pipe dream. I was looking into it tonight and we have to exhaust every counseling resource on base. Then we would need her commander's approval to pay to have my stuff returned stateside.

One of my buddies told me that the counseling does pull some jedi mind tricks on women. So I guess only time will tell. Guess I need to get back on the gym now since I might be back on the market.


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post #38522 of 41863 Old 08-14-2014, 06:42 PM
Grand_ZJ
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Sorry to hear greg, that has to be a real blow considering your now in Germany. I know id like you back in Vegas but if I had a choice like you do I would choose the PNW, Seattle area.

Im pretty sure some of us still like you though lol

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post #38523 of 41863 Old 08-14-2014, 07:07 PM
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A few months ago my wife said she was ready to call it quits. Same thing said she loved me but wasn't "in love with me" BS. We ended up going to a behavioral therapist here and things are much much better. I'm actually continuing to see him by myself and he has been helping me through all of my ****.
Cool guy for sure though. At first I thought therapy was horse crap, but it has made my life way better. At first I thought he was kinda dorky older guy. Come to find out he was a BA green beret during Vietnam.
I would give counseling a chance if I were you. He was a huge help in just moderating and helping us communicate with each other. Come to find out it was her fault hahaha.
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post #38524 of 41863 Old 08-14-2014, 07:07 PM
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Meh, he's aight I guess..

Sorry to hear about the lady troubles Greg, I hope things work out.
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post #38525 of 41863 Old 08-14-2014, 07:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grand_ZJ
Well as of 850am today(around that time) I have finally won custody of my son!!! God it feels good to finally be done with this and have me and my son be able to live our lives properly.
Congrats Steve! My little bro is going through the same right now so I know it can be a trying time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gregaf3
Damn.... nothing like moving halfway around the world then have your wife tell you the she pretty much doesn't like you anymore. Not like I can just load up the u haul and move out. But on the plus side, if we can't work this out I have no real ties anywhere. I have family in DC, SoCal, and Tampa Bay. But I have zero intention of moving back there. With my work I can move anywhere as long as I have good Internet. I want to be near mountains but also have a relatively low cost of living. Any ideas? I was looking at everything from Colorado to Idaho or even the PNW. I liked Vegas, but all of that drought stuff worries me. That plus I could not live the way that I like with a single income there. Granted this is probably all a pipe dream. I was looking into it tonight and we have to exhaust every counseling resource on base. Then we would need her commander's approval to pay to have my stuff returned stateside. One of my buddies told me that the counseling does pull some jedi mind tricks on women. So I guess only time will tell. Guess I need to get back on the gym now since I might be back on the market.
That sucks Greg. I am really sorry.

I am convinced that it is Korea that does it to people. You get used to being on your own and when you are again together, it is difficult to cope. I would venture to guess that it isn't that she doesn't "like" you. It is that she doesn't like living with you. Good luck brother.

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post #38526 of 41863 Old 08-14-2014, 07:46 PM
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Thanks Andy I appreciate it, yeah its very taxing on a man to go through it but its all worth it in the end. When the judge signed the papers I felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders. Been happy all damn day also!!

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post #38527 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 12:10 AM
gregaf3
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Thanks guys. I am hoping that counseling will help us... but in typical fashion I think it is all her haha. She just said that she is unhappy, but I personally think it has something to do with having 2 needy toddlers. What sucks is November will be 10 years of marriage... then you realize that you have had the same tail for over a decade, man now I want to leave. So far I have been understanding with her and not done anything to push her farther away.

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That sucks Greg. I am really sorry.

I am convinced that it is Korea that does it to people. You get used to being on your own and when you are again together, it is difficult to cope. I would venture to guess that it isn't that she doesn't "like" you. It is that she doesn't like living with you. Good luck brother.
Yeah, I do not think that she realizes that she would have both kids solo for the first 6 months to a year while I get set up somewhere stateside. But she did admit that she would not be able to keep the kids by herself here, esp with the deployment schedule and long hours that she has to work on a normal schedule.

Since I can work anywhere... I think I might leave for two weeks and tour Europe and see how she likes it solo with the kids. If only everything was not so expensive.

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post #38528 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 08:57 AM Thread Starter
Marn
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Sucks to hear Greg, that's not a fun situation for anybody. I have no experience in this type of thing so I don't have much else to say other than that, but here's to hoping for the best for you, her, and the kids.

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The Beast Build Thread: Marns '73 Wagoneer Thread ----- The Camper Build Thread: Marns 1980 Jayco JayFinch6 Build Thread

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post #38529 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 10:16 AM
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The best thing our therapist told my wife was that nobody is ever happy all the time in any relationship. It is what you make of it. I don't have kids so we didn't have that to worry about, but he also told us that it isn't worth staying together if both of us weren't fulfilled in the marriage. Even if it doesn't work out you will still end up being happier in the end. It's better then being miserable and separating 10 years from now. I wish you both the best.
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post #38530 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by ksturgio View Post
The best thing our therapist told my wife was that nobody is ever happy all the time in any relationship. It is what you make of it. I don't have kids so we didn't have that to worry about, but he also told us that it isn't worth staying together if both of us weren't fulfilled in the marriage. Even if it doesn't work out you will still end up being happier in the end. It's better then being miserable and separating 10 years from now. I wish you both the best.


Yeah, I keep on reading through the email that she sent me and this line is what pretty much makes me think that she has not intention of letting the counseling help.

" I will consent to the necessary counseling so that you can have the ERD that you asked for, but "

The ERD is the stuff so that the military will pay to send my stuff back to the states, otherwise it is all on me.

I guess the worst thing when I actually look at it is the very little amount of time that we have had kid free together over the past 18 months. With her being in Korea and us moving, I can guarantee that we have had less than 48 hours together without the kids. That is date night time, not counting in the evenings when the kids go to bed. Now I do not care what your relationship is like, that right there would strain any relationship without even considering the stresses of work and having 2 kids under 6 at home.

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post #38531 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 06:42 PM
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post #38532 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 06:50 PM
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I like Discoverys. They ride very well and do well offroad. Plus that one has a upgraded motor. Stock motor is a 4.0 V8.
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post #38533 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 06:57 PM
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I like Discoverys. They ride very well and do well offroad. Plus that one has a upgraded motor. Stock motor is a 4.0 V8.
For 2500 I don't think he could go wrong depending on how much a new trans is....
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post #38534 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 07:06 PM
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Agreed. If it came down to my XJ and that, I'd take the Disco. ARB makes a lot of parts for them.
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post #38535 of 41863 Old 08-15-2014, 07:29 PM
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Trans are 500....come on marn lol
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