This last November, things went way south. I bought an engagement ring in September, as I was planning on asking her to marry me on Christmas. I even did all the right things, which was hard cause her parents are divorced I asked her dad and her mom and both gave me the go ahead. Since the middle of November and now we have hardly talked at all. I got home on leave last Saturday, since then we have hung out but nothing happened between us more then a hug. I truly love her and want to be with her, but this is were it get's hard. On the tenth of January I am going to be stationed in Honduras for a year. and don't wanna lose touch with her and hope we can get back to where we used to be. I know there are a lot of guys on here that have served and would like to know how I can get things back to where they used to be while still being in the service.
According to this you don't have a relationship anymore..at least in her mind. I hate to say it, but it's pretty much over. You have to face facts here. You've got your mind set on getting engaged and marrying this girl but she's obviously not feeling the same way. It's time to wake up and smell the coffee on this one...
Years ago I was engaged to be married to my boyfriend of seven years. All throughout my senior year in high school and college we dated and after graduation we moved in together and got engaged. By the time the wedding date loomed the relationship was about the same as the one you've described as having. We barely talked to each other, we spent most time apart and never mind about being intimate. I wasn't even excited about getting married. It was all wrong.
No one was in the military but the spark was gone. We were little more than room mates. He had the guts to call it off and it's the best thing he could've done. We remained friends for years. He was a good guy but whatever we had between us had changed and dissolved. About a year later, I started dating my old friend who just "happened" to be in the Navy. We got serious, and I moved in with him and we got engaged. I put up with all whole deployment thing and our relationship was just fine through it all, even though I HATED the military life. He was enlisted for six years and planned to leave as soon as the enlistment was up (this was back in the peaceful '80s).
We got married while he had almost a year left and had to separate so that I could move back to our hometown and start up our business in NJ while he remained in Virginia Beach. I would drive down once a month and stay with him for a week out of each month... so we only saw each other about 10 days each month for the first 9 months of our marriage. Through all that the relationship held up. My point is, if the relationship is good to start, it'll be fine..But if the relationship is bad then it's pretty much cooked and the stress of military life will kill it for sure. A year in Honduras isn't going to do anything to help your present situation, especially when it's quite clear that your going into the military might've made a bad situation worse..but it sounds like it was turning bad to begin with. Enlisting just hastened the process.
You need to get your priorities straight here. You signed up for the army and now you have to dedicate yourself entirely to it..The military demands and accepts nothing less. You are now married to the military. That's how it is and anyone who dates and/or marries you has to realize and accept that fact. It sounds like that's not something your girlfriend wants to accept. Your best bet now is to just face reality and realize that it's over and do what needs to be done. It's time to let her go and move on, but most of all, let her move on. It will be painful but in the end it's the best thing that you can do.
Sorry, harsh words but it's the way I see it after reading your post.