Anybody in the military have any sea stories? - Page 2 - JeepForum.com

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post #16 of 31 Old 07-02-2005, 11:54 PM
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Originally Posted by sizzle-chest
that impossible situp is awsome!!! have you heard of the 4-4-40? You bet someone they cant drink 4 quarts of water in 4 minutes and hold it down for 40 seconds. Someone will always take the bet, and everyone who does will loose there lunch, I gaurantee it!
I am kinda interested in taking that challenge right now It can't be as bad as the gallon challenge with milk.


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post #17 of 31 Old 07-03-2005, 12:20 AM
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Many years ago, I was in the Merchant Marine. I was on a rusty old freighter
headed to the Med. On board was a brand-new wiper, the lowliest member of the engineroom gang. The guy had never been on a ship before in his entire life.

At lunchtime, the first day at sea, the wiper had loaded up his plate but was obviously feeling queasy, as he appeared somewhat green around the gills.
He moved the food around the plate a bit, but you could see that he had lost
all desire to eat, and was merely putting on a brave face, trying to supress his seasickness.

So, he was quite happy when my buddy asked if he could have the slice of white bread that the fellow didn't appear to want.

Quite relieved at not having to eat the slice of bread, the fellow happily offered it to my buddy.......... who then proceeded to BLOW HIS NOSE in it, fold it in half, and TAKE A BITE.

Needless to say, the fellow never made it onto the weather deck before he spewed his guts up.
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post #18 of 31 Old 07-03-2005, 04:47 PM
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Quite relieved at not having to eat the slice of bread, the fellow happily offered it to my buddy.......... who then proceeded to BLOW HIS NOSE in it, fold it in half, and TAKE A BITE.

Now thats funny!!!!

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post #19 of 31 Old 07-03-2005, 05:08 PM Thread Starter
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Ok here's a good one that was relayed to me by one of my instructors at my military occupational specialty school.

When your at Marine Corps bootcamp you are punished by being sent to the pit or quarterdeck. The pit is one of the various sand areas around the Recruit depot designated for thrashing recruits. The quarterdeck is an area in the front of the barracks that is reserved for classes and thrashings. Now I don't mean thrashings as in beatdowns, when I say thrashings I mean incentive or instructional training (IT). The punishment is done by completing several intense exercises for several minutes. The Drill Instructor (DI) rapidly changes the exercises Pushups now, jumping jacks now, mountain climb now, situps now, I can't hear you start again. To say that it is exhausting is an understatement.

There are limitations on the amount of exercises and for how long the DI's can thrash the recruits. There is a published guidence on this, do the DI's follow it?

Now that the ground work has been laid let me tell you what happened.

For whatever reason one of the young recruits was being punished on the quarterdeck. The DI made the recruit change exercises in rapid succession several times until he came to mountain climbers. Mountain climbers are done in the front lean & rest position, like a pushup only you thrust and draw your legs one at a time like your climbing a mountain, hence the name. So the DI gives the order, "Mountain climb now" The recruit immediatly complies and the DI walks into the duty hut (office). The whole time the rest of the recruits are sitting at their footlockers diligently cleaning their rifles. They dare not look at the poor soul on the quarterdeck or they will find themselves up there as well. So the recruit is mountain climbing, the steady thud of his feet striking the deck becomes common background noise and the Marines forget about him and continue to clean their weapons. This continues for about a half an hour, the whole time the constant thuds get slower and slower until it suddenly stops. When the noise stops the recruits remember that there is somebody on the quarterdeck getting thrashed. Not only do the recruits remember but the DI remembers. The DI immediatly comes out of the duty hut in a rage and yells "WHY DID YOU STOP" The recruit is standing at attention and and replies "Recruit ______ has reached the top of the mountain Sir!" DI: "GOOD NOW CLIMB BACK DOWN!" The DI the proceeded back into the duty hut and the poor recruit proceeded to climb down the mountain.

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post #20 of 31 Old 07-03-2005, 05:28 PM
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my buddy was in the marines, and I asked him about some funny stuff they did to each other. He told me about some guy who never shaved his face, so it looked all scruffy and bad. Well, my friend had some position of authority over him, so he made the guy shave off his small beard, then infront of everybody, he had to take the razor and dry-shave (without cream) each cheek 50 times, to make sure every hair on his face was gone!!! Well, i guess the guy got all sorts of cut and nicks on his face, and my friend said the guy never forgot to shave again!!! Ruthless!
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post #21 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 08:08 AM
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Ah... the ever glorious sea story...

My ship was in Souda Bay, Crete for a much needed port visit. However, as anyone in the Department of the Navy knows, Sailors and Marines tend not to get along too well... probably because squids like to f**k with jarheads as much as possible. And jarheads never understand that you don't mess with sailors that have been at sea for long periods of time.

Well, there I was... on Shore Patrol for my duty day and was in patrolling the streets of Hania when a call comes in over the radio to pick up three sailors at the Fun Pub. When me and my partner arrive, there are eight high-n-tight jarheads in various states of blood/bruises outside the pub, looking very disgruntled.

We walk inside and there are three sailors from the ship, drinking and having fun with the locals. The owner of the pub comes up to us and says "no, no, no... leave alone... they help by kicking out the a**holes."

Under orders to bring these three back, they understand and come along.

The next day, the CO of the NSA base on Crete, comes kicking and screaming to the ship wanting our three sailors to get the maxium punishment from Captain's Mast for kicking the a**es of "his" marines. Our CO said that he would take care of them once we got underway the next day.

Once underway, the CO held mast for the three young sailors... being the one who brought them back, I was present. They all told their story, which was the same as what the pub owner told me... they were having a good time and the jarheads came in and started being a**holes to everyone and causing trouble... so they threw them out.

So, our CO ponders all this for about 10 seconds and then says.... "Well, that CO was a pr*ck and I really hate marines... all charges dropped!"

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post #22 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeps67
Ah... the ever glorious sea story...

My ship was in Souda Bay, Crete for a much needed port visit. However, as anyone in the Department of the Navy knows, Sailors and Marines tend not to get along too well... probably because squids like to f**k with jarheads as much as possible. And jarheads never understand that you don't mess with sailors that have been at sea for long periods of time.

Well, there I was... on Shore Patrol for my duty day and was in patrolling the streets of Hania when a call comes in over the radio to pick up three sailors at the Fun Pub. When me and my partner arrive, there are eight high-n-tight jarheads in various states of blood/bruises outside the pub, looking very disgruntled.

We walk inside and there are three sailors from the ship, drinking and having fun with the locals. The owner of the pub comes up to us and says "no, no, no... leave alone... they help by kicking out the a**holes."

Under orders to bring these three back, they understand and come along.

The next day, the CO of the NSA base on Crete, comes kicking and screaming to the ship wanting our three sailors to get the maxium punishment from Captain's Mast for kicking the a**es of "his" marines. Our CO said that he would take care of them once we got underway the next day.

Once underway, the CO held mast for the three young sailors... being the one who brought them back, I was present. They all told their story, which was the same as what the pub owner told me... they were having a good time and the jarheads came in and started being a**holes to everyone and causing trouble... so they threw them out.

So, our CO ponders all this for about 10 seconds and then says.... "Well, that CO was a pr*ck and I really hate marines... all charges dropped!"

THAT STORY SUCKED! haha.

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post #23 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 01:34 PM
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My grampa told a story about training before going to WWII- after his unit compleated basic, they were supposed to go to some other base for advanced training. anyways, they get there on the train before their records did, and the people at the base thought at they were there for basic. they go through the first day of basic again, before the records arive. anyways, they were supposed to be trained to be medium atillery- morters and machine guns and such. so anyways, they get training on that, and for some reason they shiped to another base, this one in colorado. same deal, records show up the day after they do. so anyways, acording to the papers they are ready to be shiped over seas, but for some reason, the army is not ready to. so because they have to do something in colorado, so they get mountaineering training. then they get moved to another base, and this time the records did get there at the same time, but, more idle time, so they get marksmenship training, with the math behind it and the whole bit. anyways, they get transfered to some base on the east coast in order to be put on boats for europe, but once again, the records do not get there, so they get out at the base for the first day, and an officer walks out and pulls out an M1 rifle and calls out that this is an m1 rifle and it has a range of such and such, and all the other stats on the M1, then asks if there is any questions. of course, my grandpa and his unit had heard this talk three times already, and one of the guys raises his hand and asks something like How much over the target should you aim at a distance of 440 yards while shooting over a valley 250 yards deep? while anyways the officer figures that he has a bunch of wise A$$s on his hands and tells everyone that he will make them all look silly on the range that afternoon. range times roll around and not only do they out shoot the officer, they set three range records that day. I think I got the whole story here, it was a little bit ago that I had heard it, so i could have gotten something wrong to. he was in the 104th timberwolves by the way.
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post #24 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 03:16 PM Thread Starter
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It's always a good story when an enlisted man makes an officer look dumb.

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post #25 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 04:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by U.S.MarineLJ
It's always a good story when an enlisted man makes an officer look dumb.
oh yeh!!!

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post #26 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 07:37 PM
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The impossible situp sucks, and the 4-4-40 we do with milk instead... Its quite fun and more entertaining because of all the lactose in the milk. We always make sure that whoever stands/squats in front of the guy doing the impossible situp has a bad case of gas or something too. They usually manage to let one out right when the guy gets up.

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post #27 of 31 Old 07-04-2005, 08:44 PM
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heres a few pranks from the fire house told by my father...

there was one guy who would always screw with the nubes, although it always involved getting the whole crew as well. The two pranks that were his favorite would be to first get there a little early and remove all of the shelves and what not from the companies frig, when the rookie was spotted outside he'd crawl in and shut the door...somone would then tell the rookie to grab something...butter, eggs...something out of the frig, when they'd open the door he'd yell..."close that damn door im trying to sleep" one guy even wet himself once he was so scared.

he also like to gather all of the pots from the kitchen walk into the bunk room and throw them up in the air at 4 in the morning, either that or charge the red line (if the whole company pissed him off) open the charged line up (again at 4 in the morning) and send them all flying to the back wall.

something else they would do is put the nubies in the watch office, tie the door shut (or block it depending on the station). Now all of the watch offices have a small passageway between the office and the kitchen to pass food and what not (since someone always has to be in there), anyway, they would secure the door and put a cast iron skillet on the stove til it was red hot, then set it in front of the opening with a fan behind it and pour on a can of black pepper, and turn the fan on. That gotta screw your head up BIG TIME!



as far as pranks torie I've been involved in at the ER...we never get tired of putting surgi lube on door handles, toilet seats, the telephone. or we put nitro paste under peoples car door handles...REALLY BAD HEADACHE...we taped a tech's shoes to the chair he was sitting in when he fell asleep and called the ambulance phone...that was pretty funny.

then of course theres always the prank calls to the other ER's asking:

...how to get my willie outta the vacuum
...how to get...bottles, light bulbs, staplers, pencils, anything really, out of my ***
...it's really funny to call and ask for an ambulance...because most ER's don't have anything to do with dispatching or that type stuff...so we say we need an ambulance jethro has bit his own big toe off...person on the other end will say im sorry sir you'll have to call 911 to get a ambulance dispatched...it's always fun to argue with them...they get mad and say sir if it's a big emergency you need to hang up now and call 911......unfortunately we got this idea from all the people that call us wanting us to send the ambulance, we have to explain to them that they need to call 911...and the still want to talk...i had one lady talk for 15 minutes when she called saying she needed an ambulance ASAP, towards the end of the conversation I just had to be blunt and say..."mam, you did call regarding an emergency correct...yes i did...is your husband still having chest pain...well, yes he is...mam i suggest you do what i told you to do 15 minutes ago and call 911...well i just wanted...goodbye mam, and I hung up. 10 miutes later the tones dropped and the truck left...they brought her husband in 20 minutes later, luckily he just had reflux....some people are just morons.
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post #28 of 31 Old 01-05-2012, 12:58 PM
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imma give this a bump for skippylists. lol made my day


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post #29 of 31 Old 03-08-2012, 08:38 PM
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Bootcamp story, at the rifle range. We were lead series and our killhat was in some sort of good mood. We were cleaning, when he picked out the good recruit who still always got in trouble. He made him put on sheets like our good haji friends would from overseas and told him to go. He had to go to follow series (the building behind us) 2nd deck and yell something. The DI let us watch from the windows. We watch him and one other guy dressed like a haji walk in but nothing was really happening. Next thing you know you see the whole platoon (about 80-90 recruits) rush the hell out of these guys. They got out of there before they got to them. As it turns out, they had to yell "ALLAHU AHKBAR!, YOUR TIME IS COMING!!" They didnt realize before opening the door that that platoon was in the middle of a "front school circle" DI talk time.

A different time, the heavy hat found out that this recruit, who was pretty far from straight IMO was in chorus during school. About once a week, he made him march up and down the squad bay after lights out to sing us to sleep. That always made my day, knowing that I wasnt chosen for embarressing rolls like that.

Now for a 'fleet' story. I dont have too many good ones from overseas, but we've had a hell of a time back in the states between deployments. My barracks room was on 2d deck. Myself and some buddies had gone to home depot earlier to get the tools for that nights drinking. A funnel and a 20 foot hose. We tried to do beer, but it would foam up and take too long to settle, so we moved on to the next best thing. A fifth of vodka, some everclear and some olde time lemonade and kool aide..we made a few batches because as everyone knows cheap liqour on base is extraordinarly cheap. So there we are, majority of us under age hanging this contraption through the railings funneling a ridiculous amount of alcohol when someone yells "the duty is coming!" Being the one holding the funnel right outside my door I run straight into my room.
What I didnt realize is that when I ran, the hose was coiled up because it was so new.
And it had leftovers.
And it straightened out.
And the Officer of the day was walking right underneath me.

Now, not stereotyping here but big black Gunnys usually have a special way of chewing ***. As I threw the funnel in the corner with my door still open, I hear "HEY YOU MOTHERF****ERS, WHAT THE F**K IS THIS S**T!?" The duty NCO at this point was at my door, and just had this look of disbelief and didnt know what to say. There was a bit of an *** chewing, but he appreciated my honesty and told us to keep that inside. Oh, and to throw him down some "smell good" because he didnt want to smell like a got-damned bar while walking his post..<his words.
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post #30 of 31 Old 04-07-2012, 04:01 AM
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I lived/was stationed in the Philippines for ~3 years (while single ). Enuff said.
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