Posted on Justruns. This is how to sell a jeep.
in-line six, dana 300, t-5 trans, ARB,S front
rear, 456gears, dana-44 rear, dana-30 front with warn axles, warn hub
conversion, 4- inch procomp lift, c.v.joint drive shafts, yoke kit, four
tuffy boxes, soft top with doors, smitty bumpers, newish seats and
carpet, twin sticks, cb.radio, 35' procomp tire', new this, new that.
Blah, blah, blah.
This is a 1986 Jeep CJ7. It is not new, it is not pristine, it is built for off road!
This not your wife's grocery go-getter. This is not a pretty boy Rubicon or FJ.
It's a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. If it sees a trail it heads that way.
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and drive the desert all alone: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you spell 'desert' like this 'dessert' THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have to go to the library to look at a Chiltons Manual: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you see a pile of rocks and drive around it: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you are on food stamps, EBT or government assitance: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU. (You need some cash)
If you haven't seen one relative on COPS: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you don't own a gun because you think the government will take care of us: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you think Obamamerica is better than a Constitutional America: PLEASE USE THE ABOVE MENTIONED FIREARM AND SHOOT YOURSELF.
you say 'minimilist' and sound like Tyson 'cause the beer is kicking in
you consider Truckhaven your second home
you dumped any friend that posts to Facebook
You think guns are a necessary tool right along with the electric chair
you sport a silver mane but have the highest score in Call of Duty?
you can carry on a two hour conversation discussing routes, broken axles, hi-lift jacks and the girl you just passed
you know the difference between Ocotillo Wells and Ocotillo
THIS JEEP IS FOR YOU!
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me (or you) to care. It has a zillion miles (mostly towed).
BTW, ever heard of a Jeep that doesn't leak? .
-The totally reliable little 4.2L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Compression is good and consistent.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
Had planned to use it much more but life got in the way - not going to happen.
-TDS stickers on the right front window stay.
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Married with children = no time for Jeep play. I have resolved that I will
will be attending versus playing from here on out.
-What's wrong with it?
Nothing really - drive it to the moon. Really, it'll make it.
Smogged and registered.
-Does the 4WD work?
Yes. Better than a $15/hr burger flipper.
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No reason. Where are you going to put the drive train anyway - in a Landcruiser?
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
If you want a Jeep that will get you home - you gotta spend a little scratch.
-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
No. Son, maybe. Its not only a good Jeep but it's a learning experience - Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
-Can you deliver?
No. Come look, drive, and meet me at AAA. It's yours.
-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Only if you're buying a photo of the Jeep.
Otherwise cash. Preferably crunchy small bills.
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a blip. This isn't Macklemore's thrift store. I want $8750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell her. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
-Why are you such a jerk?
No I'm not. Yes, you are. No I'm not. Yes, you are. etc...