You have a toolbox full of broken and beheaded TORX bits, and the other half of those torx bits are still stuck in your: (pick one or all) A) Seatbelt bolts B) Fender bolts C) Door hinge bolts....etc, etc.
You know EXACTLY which size TORX bit you need for every repair on your Jeep, and EXACTLY how many turns it will make before it breaks off inside either the jeep or inside the TORX head. You are intimate with your sawzall and hacksaw.
You keep a spare CPS, TPS, and a quart of oil in your road kit.
You have cut a hole in your unibody to grasp a broken, spinning weldnut. ( Rear leaf spring nuts, transfer case nuts, upper shock mount nuts, rear hitch nuts.....etcetera.)
Your knuckles are permanentley scarred, scraped, bloody and bruised.
You always scream: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" for 3 days after any road trip in your XJ, due to being deafened by the road noise, the flowmaster 40 series, the orchestra of squeaks, bangs and rattles, and the stereo that you had cranked to drown them all out.
You are on a first-name basis with your chiropractor due to the ride quality of your XJ.
Your XJ sags in the back....... until you lift it, then it leans to one side.
A conversation that looks like THIS actually makes sense to you: "I cant decide If I will need an SYE with my BB. Maybe an OME AAL and spacers? Should I just do an S-10 bastard-pack? Will my DS be long enough? Will I need new LCAs? how about UCA's? Should I get a JKS or RE track bar? Do I need DISCOs? What about my TRE's?......."........and you actually know how to answer this question.
People mistake your XJ for the UPS truck when they hear it.
There are so many XJs with black rims that non-jeep people actually think they are factory jeep wheels and give you compliments on your stock factory steelies. ("Where'd you get those fly rimz? They are fat, dog!).
Any XJ part that you try to sell on JeepForum sits unsold forever...... unless its a D44. Then you recieve ALL 20 allowable PMs in under 5 minutes.
Your Chilton's manual has more grease and oil stains on it that your oilpan.
You realize you have more money in new parts, upgrades and mods than your Jeep will ever be worth....and you dont care.
98.7 percent of the contents of any puddle or mud hole ends up on your windshield (instead of UNDER the Jeep where it's supposed to go) before it lands anywhere else.
You are the VERY FIRST person to lock into 4WD if there is even a HINT of moisture in the forecast, because if you dont, your rear tires will spin hopelessly at the slightest hint of throttle input.
You lay awake in bed at night thinking of ways to make your Jeep more awesome.
You have gone to work tired the next day because you stayed awake all night checking out other people's rigs on NAXJA, JeepForum, and Pirate.com all night.
You wave at other "real" Jeep people (CJ, TJ, etc) and they give you the finger in return.
You begin to yawn when you hear the "It-doesnt-have-a-frame,-therefore-its-not-a-real jeep" argument again and again.
"Performance upgrades" are basically limited to boring your throttle body and putting on a loud muffler.
You dream of building a stroker motor. You know which engines to look for to score primo stroker parts in the junkyard.
The sight of rare factory options (Skid plates, tow hooks, overhead console, rust-free floorpans, etc) gives you a raging woodie.
You have had a 4-hour argument over which year XJ is the best with other XJ owners, .......and no one won.
Your passenger's side carpet is permanently saturated with several dozen cups of coffee; your clip-on cup holder spends most of it's life laying down there anyway. (84-96 owners only.)
You wonder what that greasy film is that is always on the outside of your windshield.
You watch your temperature guage more than you watch the road. You feel that 210 degrees is too hot for ANY vehicle to run, yet your XJ seems to run best there. But not a single degree over that........
You are constantly looking for new ways to direct cool air under your hood; you look at any vehicle with hood vents or scoops and try to imagine how they would look on your XJ.
People sit down in your XJ and say: "HOLY SH*T! Is that for real?" when they see how many miles are on it.
If it stops squeaking or rattling, that means its broken.
You carry a spare change of underwear in case you have to make a panic stop.
Your spare tool road kit is almost as complete as the one in your garage.
You leave your Jeep unlocked and park anywhere you want because you know no one will try to steal it, nor do you give a flying rats butt if it gets scratched or dented.
No matter what you do to improve your XJ, everyone else's seem to looks better than yours, at least in your own eyes.
2 door guys wonder how anyone over 3 foot 6 inches tall manages to fit in a 4 door XJ. 4 door guys wonder why anyone would want a 2 door XJ.
You know the usual spots to look for rust in an XJ, and are surprised when you see an XJ without any rust on it.
The front seats are ALWAYS uncomfortable for the first 10,000 miles until they start to sag and break down in the shape of your own butt. Then they are comfortable only to you.
You can smoke a 31 inch tire from a 15 MPH roll and impress your friends, ......but you still cant get it much over 75 MPH.
You watch a 36-page thread occur bi-monthly on JeepForum.com turn into a vicious argument on "WHICH OIL SHOULD I USE?".....and wonder why the DMF didnt just use what is stamped PLAINLY on the oil filler cap and TWICE in the owner's manual.
You have changed every sensor, ignition component and filter at least TWICE and your idle quality STILL sucks.
Your drivetrain has ungodly amounts of miles on it, yet it starts and runs flawlessly evertime.
You see an ancient XJ with enormous rust holes, puking coolant, oil and smoke everywhere, sagging in the middle, sputtering along and dragging its tailpipe down the highway ........and you begin to wonder if they ever really die.
You are PROUD of how many miles are on your XJ until you see an XJ with an odometer that reads a half-million miles, and the guy tells you that your XJ is still just a baby.
Last edited by 4.0H.O.XJ; 04-13-2008 at 10:33 PM.
Reason: Bcuz my spelin sux reel bad