The Jeep community is one of the most homogeneous, conforming groups I've come across. Black wheels, black rockers, black flares, black grill ad nauseum. Yeah, it looks fine, and I frankly do like the black grill & bezels on a white XJ (I also love chrome on 84-96 XJs), but.... What about bringing that silver back to life and bringing the silver into the grill and bezels, too? There are chrome grills and bezels you could use with your chrome bumper (your bumper is chrome, right? Some of your ramblings are dizzying to try to follow). My opinons are to either roll with black door handles, side mirror, bezels, and grill, or chrome door handles, mirrors, bezels, and grill (see Marcus Ohm's XJ HERE
for what I'm talking about); Ohm's uses black ARB bumpers, but factory chrome bumpers with black end caps would look great.
Anyway, make your own cosmetic choices. Despite how you plan to use your XJ and what your needs/tastes are, most Jeepers around here will encourage you to assimilate by bed-lining your rockers black with black flares (or more likely no flares with trimmed fenders and cut-and-fold quarter panel), bumper, grill, bezels, and black steel wheels on a 3-4.5" lift with 31-33" BFG AT or GY Duratrac tires. I can't roll my eyes hard enough.
I'm glad you're giving the Jeep Lace wheels some love. Most people HATE them and can't even give them away. I'm not the biggest fan of them either, but maybe that's just because mine are all kinds of corroded and look awful on my XJ. Don't mix-match gloss and flat; it'll look stupid especially since they won't stay where you put them assuming you're responsible enough to rotate your tires regularly.
My opinion on the LED strips? Throw that rice junk in the garbage.
Super charger? Possible, but do you have a small fortune? If so, could you spare a couple thousand my way first? You need a new ignition switch/lock, and are fussing over the cost of that--forget about supercharging a 4.0; seriously, put it out of you mind completely. I saw mention of needing new brake lines in there somewhere, too. If you're being thrifty with your money, stop spending it on cosmetic stuff until after mechanical and safety issues like brake lines, ignition, and your are taken care of.
Suspension. Do you want it lifted or not? It's not cheaper to lift. Monroe Sensatrac shocks are great for stock suspension and are cheap. Your front coil springs are likely just fine, and if your rear leaf springs are flat/saggy, Crown makes good, affordable replacements. You probably need new bushings, too. Budget boosts are just spacers and shackles, so bad suspension will still be bad suspension. 2" lift kits aren't much more expensive, but they are more expensive, and you could possibly get driveline vibes even at 2" necessitating a transfer case drop or a SYE. Most good 2" lift kits seem to ride a bit higher, and as you hit and exceed 3", the can of worms only gets more likely to pop. At 4.5", you've definitely opened the worm can. Figure-out what height you want it at, then do it right the first time.