Cars are designed to crush on impact so that the car takes the force instead of whoever is inside. Your bumper make do more appearance damage to another vehicle in an accident but you're going to take all the force that your car didn't which isn't what you want for a baby.
Now ive been in a wreck, in a stock 01, that totaled 2 cars.. the one that hit me, and the one I have been pushed into. Fairly straight forward... the XJ's hitch took all the force. Bent the unibody and spring hangers up, drove like crap, but still got home OK. The other 2, well, the civic who hit me, that guy went out in a stretcher. He was high and not wearing a seatbelt. It wasnt pretty. The other family was in a newer Nissan sedan, very young girl in the back. She was shaken, but OK. The car crumpled.
remember that guys.. the vehicle sacrifices itself to protect you. This is one of the reasons people get suspension seats... so the impact on the vehicle does not hurt their back.
Now on a side impact... XJs are pretty weak. Ive seen wrecked ones that were t-boned, and would expect broken arms and legs. Ive seen pictures of one that was t-boned at 40, but had rocker guards and a 3" lift... that one took the force directly into the rocker bar... and not the door.
Congrats BTW! We brought home our first 4 weeks ago. The car seat stays in mom's XJ, which will have at most a very mild lift to accommodate slightly larger tires. The carseat could fit in my white XJ... but I would be too worried about those things right now. When she is older, its different, and I will probably have a cage and other measures in the vehicle too... and we will be going to trails.
Oh, and you will drive a tad differently. Your outlook on a lot of things will change. It is pretty cool.