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Unread 07-18-2011, 06:45 AM   #1
diddy2003
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Selling A Jeep Rubicon as a zombie fighter . . .

I thought this was pretty funny. A craigslist add I just found

http://boston.craigslist.org/nwb/cto/2494759026.html

"Lets face it, 2012 is right around the corner. You can expect fissures in your driveway, hot lava spouting from next door, zombies trying to eat your brains. And all just on the way to work.

For that fissure your gonna need axle articulation. The trick is to cross the void one wheel at a time. Solid live-axles, front and rear, ensure weight is always on the ground. This Jeep has the upgraded Dana 44 axles, the strongest available. They're up to the task.

For the bubbling molten lava dropping from the sky, you have 3 options. First, you have a factory hard top. Its fiberglass, so its lightweight. Should that not be up to the task, you've got the factory soft top. Its heavy duty canvas, with zip-out panels easily folds back to, yes, allow you to go topless. Should you find yourself topless, skip the sunscreen and flip on the 2 - 100watt KC Daylighter off-road spotlights to shine through the dust.

Now, for those zombies. This Jeep has been upgraded with 33" BF Goodrich Mud Terrain tires, that have been individually siped to grab traction when there's blood spilled. Those 33" tires, combined with 3" inches of lift give you a phenomenal 12" of ground clearance which should be good to clear a few zombie skulls.

When the zombies hoards start latching on to parts of the Jeep, its great to know you have the optional 4:10 gear ratio. That, combined with a 4:1 transfer case give you unheard of crawl ratio of 66.4:1. That should drag a few hundred zombies at least. And the 4.0L PowerTech straight six has more than enough torque from idle through to the 5200 rpm redline to keep power planted. Just pop the clutch and floor it, you wont stall this beast.

OK, I know its not gonna be easy. Don't swerve though, hold your line. Aftermarket 1/4" steel bumpers should break a few zombie bones. If the sound of crunching calcium and iron substructure makes you cringe, simply crank up the 1200 watt sound system with 8 speakers and 2-12" subwoofers. Use your iPod to drive the Pioneer head unit. I recommend Van Halen for zombies.

Its always darkest before the dawn. That's why I've been saving the best for last. Ever watch those spy movies where the hero engages his secret weapon? Well, this jeep has that button. Its labeled axle-lock. Hit it not once, but twice, and it solidly locks all the tires together. That way you only need one tire on the ground to pull you to safety. Ask your grocery-getter SUV to do that.

What's the cost for this escape plan? Priceless.

Just kidding, its a mere $15,000. If you've made it this far, I'll let it go for $14,999. And email me for a complete list of accessories (and how to use them) -- it can't fit here. "

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Unread 07-18-2011, 07:03 AM   #2
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People may be too scared to go look at it knowing there is a crazy man around
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Unread 07-18-2011, 07:15 AM   #3
j_niko
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One of the best ads I've seen....

If I was in the market, I'd buy it on principal alone.
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Unread 07-18-2011, 07:17 AM   #4
Necko2529
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I sat here with my cursor blinking on an empty message box thinking what to say.... best I can do is.... I realy can't think of nothing to say, what do you say to this?
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Anybody can take advice if it doesn't interfere with their plan.

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Unread 07-18-2011, 07:30 AM   #5
jeepinmichguy_
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Pretty technical thread.
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How about this, if you had the Jeep Spirit, you wouldn't abuse the rest of us trying to enjoy a nice day out wheeling by bringing your brokeass broken down junkyard crap out to play where it can't handle it?
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Unread 07-18-2011, 08:02 AM   #6
26679cj5
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Pretty technical thread.

You're right, We could've used another thread about a Zone lift.
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Unread 07-18-2011, 08:20 AM   #7
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You're right, We could've used another thread about a Zone lift.


Or flowmaster exhausts......
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Unread 07-18-2011, 08:28 AM   #8
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no we need another thread on k&n cais amd tbs that give you like 8000 more hp
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Unread 07-18-2011, 08:45 AM   #9
TheBoogieman
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He wrote all that after a night of smoking pot and didn't even post the mileage.
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Unread 07-18-2011, 09:15 AM   #10
GOLENJEEPTJ
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Unread 07-18-2011, 09:20 AM   #11
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Sent him a message thanking him for an awesome CL ad. He's right around the corner from me. Good thread, technical or not!
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Unread 07-18-2011, 09:38 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by djflyy View Post
Sent him a message thanking him for an awesome CL ad. He's right around the corner from me. Good thread, technical or not!
Sorry guys, that post was meant for the unwashed masses, not those who actually knew about Jeeps. Here's the full writeup for those in the know:

The Good:
- lovingly maintained, synthetic fluids throughout
- ~80K miles
- I'm a poser. Its never been seriously offroaded. Its seen some snow banks and a couple of fields.
- NEEDS NOTHING -- everything works

The Bad:
- Minor cratches in paint, especially hood (from clearing snow)
- minor surface rust new this year (nothing you wouldn't expect for the area)
- minor damage to front fenders from fender-bender accident (you have to be shown it)
- one rim dented, one rim discolored

The extras:
- Factory Hard Top
- Factory Soft Top
- 33" BF Goodrich Tires
- Warn Front Bumper
- HighRock 4x4™ Rear Bumper with Class 2.5 Hitch, drop mount and ball
- Skyjacker Budget Boost 2" coil spacers and Shocks
- 1" body lift
- Scanguage II trip computer/guage and scan code reader
- Pioneer Stereo CD player with mp3 player input
- 2 amplifiers
- 2x12" JL Audio subwoofers boxed
- 8 Speakers (JBL)
- 33 Engineering Skid Plate/Transfer case mount (not installed) and drop-mount
- Warn M8274 Winch (not installed) with roller fair lead
- Bad Boys Air Horn
- Oversized rear tire mount
- Spidertrax Wheel Spacers
- Rugged Ridge 7 inch Fender Flare Kit
- 2 KC Daylighters 100W
- Allen Sports Deluxe 4 Bike Folding Carrier for 2" Receiver Hitch
- Sway bar disconnects (front)
- Extended sway bar links (rear)
- Trail Armor Corners
- Factory Rear Privacy cover
- Jeep Factory service manual

The only condition is you have to take everything, whether you want it or not.

Location: Northwest of Boston. If you are in New England I can meet you halfway.

Email me for further information and pictures.
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Unread 07-18-2011, 09:39 AM   #13
05TurboS2K
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I'm in the zombie survival club myself. All ready!
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Unread 07-18-2011, 04:06 PM   #14
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This is epic.
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Unread 07-18-2011, 04:49 PM   #15
aslack99
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That sir, is a great ad.And a nice jeep
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