If the connector has a red slide-lock, you need to click it over to allow you to push the tab so you can unplug the connector. I wish I had a pic, but I'll try to describe as best as possible.
The slide lock has one side that is stepped up away from the connector. Put a flat blade screwdriver against the OTHER side of the red lock and click it in until it's flush with the black part of the connector that it goes through. They are often gritty and you need to give it some force. You can then push the tab and unplug.
It sounds like you have the normal 96 PDC. The 93-95's were lined up as you described. I'm not at work right now, so I cant tell you which fuse is for the pump. If you have a constant power at the relay terminals, the fuse should be OK.
If the old pump sock filter has a lot of grit or sludgy type stuff on it, I'd recommend draining the tank and wiping out the inside with a soft white cloth or paper rags. We've had contaminants cause repeated failures and fuel starvation. I like to filter the fuel through a paint strainer when I put it back in.
Sorry I rambled. I hope some of it helps.