This thread never ceases to crack me up!
Ykydayjw - everytime you have a new passenger you inevitably have this conversation :
Them: what the hell?
Me: you have to jiggle it.
Them: I am!
Me: no that's wiggling. I said jiggle. Don't you know the difference?
Them: whatever. Wait that doesn't work?
Me: nope, but it doesn't matter.
Them: and that? What's that noise?
Me: which noise? The squeaking, the grinding, the humming, the banging, or the whistling?
Them: uh, all of them?
Me: the squeaking is the loose bolt behind the dash, the grinding is my right rear break pads, the humming is my tires, the whistling is the top, and the banging is my rear drive shaft rolling around in the back until I put it back in.
Them: Jesus. Why is the exhaust so loud? Don't you have AC? Is there anything that works right?
Me: the exhaust sucks I'll give you that one but I need a locker before I deal with that, there's no AC other than the fresh air blowing through the place doors should be, and everything I need to work to get from A to B and to drive over big crap works just fine.
Them: *rolls eyes* what a piece of crap. I wouldn't want to ride this every day.
Me: you know what? You're going bald, your pants are dumb, you have quite the gut blowing out over your seatbelt there, your BO could scare off a moose in heat, your hands are softer than a tub of butter, your beard is patchy and looks like pubes. But you know, I don't ever hear your wife complain about having to ride you!