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Introducing MONSTALINER™ UV Permanent DIY Roll On Bed LineRuffstuff Axle Simple Swap Kit!ROCK BOTTOM prices on LIFT KITS at Rockridge4wd!! WANT TO

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Unread 11-19-2013, 05:27 AM   #6391
Dingo1033
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1991 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Countryside, IL
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I'm an avid Chiver and now being a member of /f12 it all makes sense now.

On a darker note, 12yrs ago today (Tuesday) I lost my father. The most influential man in my life. All my vehicles are staying parked tonight and I'll be drinking my local watering hole outta bourbon, besides the one PBR I'll have as a toast for a Bird (cheers). I just want to thank this great YJ community for everything you've given me and the family atmosphere. KCCO!

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Last edited by Anticanman; 11-19-2013 at 08:12 AM.. Reason: As a fellow chiver and empathetic to your situation, depictions of drug use are not allowed even in good guy memes
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Unread 11-19-2013, 08:08 AM   #6392
superj
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Location: corpus christi, texas
Posts: 6,721
ok guys, something is going on in corpus. i spotted another zombie response team vehicle on my street. there must have been a sighting.
img_20131118_165422.jpg  
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Unread 11-19-2013, 11:06 AM   #6393
HaskiE
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looking for an old email I found this old forward:

"Worth sending around a second time

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, our cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.


Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD......

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

* My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
* The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
* My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
* My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
* I had no control over the drooling.
* Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
* I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!"
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Unread 11-19-2013, 11:21 AM   #6394
AZdEvilYJ
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaskiE
looking for an old email I found this old forward: "Worth sending around a second time A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, our cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD...... I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. * My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. * The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. * My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. * My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. * I had no control over the drooling. * Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. * I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!"
That's hilarious.
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Unread 11-19-2013, 12:08 PM   #6395
AmmitOsiris
Registered User
1990 YJ Wrangler 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Brentwood, California
Posts: 3,337
Quote:
Originally Posted by HaskiE
looking for an old email I found this old forward: "Worth sending around a second time A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, our cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD...... I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. * My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. * The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. * My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. * My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. * I had no control over the drooling. * Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. * I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!"
I've seen this before, haha it's always hilarious every time I read it

Sent from Peggy's office
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Unread 11-19-2013, 01:01 PM   #6396
Sparrows
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Boise, ID
Posts: 4,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingo1033 View Post
I'm an avid Chiver and now being a member of /f12 it all makes sense now.

On a darker note, 12yrs ago today (Tuesday) I lost my father. The most influential man in my life. All my vehicles are staying parked tonight and I'll be drinking my local watering hole outta bourbon, besides the one PBR I'll have as a toast for a Bird (cheers). I just want to thank this great YJ community for everything you've given me and the family atmosphere. KCCO!
Cheers dingo. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
'Nuff said.

Cheers
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Unread 11-19-2013, 01:03 PM   #6397
superj
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Location: corpus christi, texas
Posts: 6,721
man, that is hilarious! not the post above mine, the one about the tazer
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Unread 11-19-2013, 08:45 PM   #6398
Dingo1033
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Posts: 139
Thanx Sparrows. Happier not I picked up some half doors in excellent condition and a buddy gave me his aftermarket door skins with the armrest and pocket for free! Not so much of a bad day after all.
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Unread 11-19-2013, 09:16 PM   #6399
SH00T3R
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The taser story is hilarious! I could picture the entire thing as if it were me. lol Probably something i'd do.
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Unread 11-19-2013, 11:26 PM   #6400
squishy
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: JBMDL, New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SH00T3R
The taser story is hilarious! I could picture the entire thing as if it were me. lol Probably something i'd do.
X2. My wife got all mad cause I was laughing so hard and wouldn't tell her about it because she'd say "that sounds like something you'd do.....stupid". Lol
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Unread 11-19-2013, 11:29 PM   #6401
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Best Sons of Anarchy EVER.

Posted via my pretentious iPhone.
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Unread 11-19-2013, 11:41 PM   #6402
squishy
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Posts: 1,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luuca
Best Sons I Anarchy EVER.

Posted via my pretentious iPhone.
Spoiler alert. Still watching.
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Gratitude and Gold both start with G and are just as rare.
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Unread 11-20-2013, 10:08 AM   #6403
Steve707
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Location: Martinez, California
Posts: 505
Fresno is way too far away to d I've to work. Took me three hours.
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Unread 11-20-2013, 09:06 PM   #6404
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve707 View Post
Fresno is way too far away to d I've to work. Took me three hours.
Yep, waaay too far. I'm staying in my trailer to work in Auburn from Antioch.
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Unread 11-20-2013, 09:22 PM   #6405
Michaelgoesrawr
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The MJ failed smog on Monday. I sent the results to Que to see what he thought. He directed me towards loose manifold bolts and a bad o2 sensor. Sure as ****, I was able to turn all of the bolts topside about over a half a turn tighter and the back one was far more than that. The bottom bolts were tighter but still gave some up.

Tested the o2 sensor and got 5.02 volts on the signal wire and zero ohms through the heater circuit. Popped the new one in today and it's working like it should. Hopefully it passes tomorrow.
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