35 REASONS WHY JEEPS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. Jeeps don't get pregnant.
2. You can drive your Jeep any time of the month.
3. Jeeps don't have parents.
4. Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your Jeep with your friends.
6. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
7. When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.
8. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you have.
9. Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.
10. Jeeps don't care if you buy Jeep magazines.
11. You'll never hear, "Surprise! You're going to own a new Jeep!"
...unless you go out and get it yourself.
12. If your Jeep goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your Jeep is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your Jeep is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
15. You can have a Jeep of color and still bring it home to your parents.
16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Jeep.
17. If you say bad things to your Jeep,
you don't have to apologize before you drive it again.
18. You can drive your Jeep as long as you want and it won't get sore.
19. You can stop driving your Jeep as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Jeep after you dump it.
21. Jeeps don't get headaches.
22. Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
23. Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.
24. Jeeps don't care if you're late.
25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your Jeep.
26. If your Jeep doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
27. You can drive your Jeep the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner,
see a movie, or meet its mother.
28. The only protection you have to wear when driving your Jeep is a decent seat belt.
29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great drive you had the
last time you were in your Jeep.
30. Your Jeep is never embarrassed to go topless in public.
31. You only have to feed your Jeep when you use it.
32. A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.
33. Jeeps don't care how much money you spend on them.
34. You never have to worry about your Jeep spending your money.
35. You don't have to remember your Jeep's birthday, when you first met, or anniversaries.
You know you're having fun when...
1. The coin wash attendant says your jeep is too muddy to use the car wash.
2. You suggestion to take the top down results in your female passenger complying.
3. Your lost and vultures are circling overhead.
4. Your C.B. radio plays nothing but banjo music.
5. Your last lift takes you over the 7 foot garage height restrictions.
6. Your jeep is so mean and nasty looking that other vehicles avoid you.
7. Your jeep articulates so well that your hi-lift jack can't get the wheels off the ground.
8. Your life is preoccupied with finding alternative on-board air storage methods.
9. Your sex life is going downhill while your jeep is going uphill.
10. You've rolled your jeep and you're looking forward to the next time.
11. Your parts dealer laughs when you walk in the door.
12. You wake up one morning with a "jeep thing" tattoo.
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A REAL JEEP IF...
1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain
3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark
4. You roll it over and don't get upset
5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help
6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
7. You puke when you see a RAV4
8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and *****-slap the driver
10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"
13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker
14. When you can see OVER a Suburban
15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know
where you will end up
16. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off
18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless
19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house
21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep
back onto its wheels again
22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield
23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling
26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof
28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance
29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in
30. You fix almost everything yourself
31. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized
33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it
35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it
36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway
37. You are dating the Service, Parts or Sales Manager at the Jeep dealership
38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway
40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
41. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel
42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying
along a set of steps
43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident
46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm
49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
50. Your wallet is always empty.
51. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep
52. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep