All the basic XJ questions have been asked and answered, numerous times, some Google-fu will lead you to the answers you seek.
Yes, you can use coil spacer and extended shackles with any lift kit. Many lift kit leaf springs come with extended shackles and nearly all lift kit leaf springs benefit greatly when used with extend shackles. You buy buy coil spacers and shackles in different sizes, but they may not be available together as a kit, in the sizes you want.
I recommend Dog Leg shackles for XJ Cherokee, and JKS specifically. http://store.jksmfg.com/merchant2/me...de=Leaf_Spring
Your control arms will work, but you on pavement ride will be very harsh, and your off-road flex will be limited. With short control arms and more than 4" of lift, Control Arm Drop Brackets are very strongly recommended.
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